My Sister Recently Quit Smoking because of an Elementary Poster Contest

I'd like to congratulate my niece, Sadie, for winning the drug free poster contest at her school. She drew a picture of my sister sitting in a lawn chair smoking, and her mom's boyfriend standing next to her unhappily.

Catchy slogan: "My Mom smox and Jason hates it."

The Rack

I decided to quilt this one by hand. I find that in order to machine quilt and baste properly I have to move the kitchen table, mop the kitchen floor, and tape down the layers. That's kind of a lot of work.

Hand quilting takes a little longer, but the hassle of an extra floor mopping after kids are in bed is a big consideration. Also, I can hand quilt while watching The Office with Alejandro, which I cannot do while machine quilting.

I might make an oatmeal pie today, if I feel ambitious. I am excited to try a good friend's crust recipe that has real bona fide lard in it.

My Secret Love Affair

Dear Pie,

I just want you to know that I have finally told Alex about my feelings for you. I think he is okay with our relationship. I promised him that I would not run away with you, even though my passion for you cannot be denied. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend.

Your Secret Lover,

Rowena

I blame the internet for my problem. Look:
Apple Blackberry with Walnut
Caramelized Apple Pecan
Random Raspberry Pie

Onion Bread

It was Bountiful Basket day today, and I got four more big onions. I haven't used the onions from the last batch of produce, so I thought I'd try an onion bread recipe.

Onion Bread
2-1/2 C water
1-1/2 Tbsp. yeast
1/4 C. honey
3 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp bacon fat (I save mine for frying eggs, etc. One of many reasons I have to exercise.)
1 egg
1 whole diced onion, sauteed until almost translucent
3 C. white bread flour
3 C. whole wheat flour

Mix water, yeast, and honey, and let sit for a few minutes until the yeast bubbles happily. Add salt, olive oil, bacon fat (can do either or both of these, just 3 Tbsp, but bacon fat makes the toast and sandwiches the BEST), slightly whisked egg, and flours. Knead these ingredients until mostly incorporated, and sprinkle the hot sauteed onion on top of them. Cover with a wet towel.

Let sit for 30 minutes.

Knead onion all the way through until you have a nice elastic dough.

Cover with a wet towel. Let sit for 30 to 45 minutes, until double. Depending on the warmth and humidity of the kitchen this could take up to an hour.

Knead until the dough tightens up and then loosens just a little.

Let sit for 10 or 15 minutes. Make into two loaves. I made long loaves and baked them both on a dark flat pan, but I'm sure this dough would work in regular 8" bread pans. I like to leave some of the air bubbles in during the loafing process just to make sure the bread is nice and fluffy.

Let loaves rise for 30 minutes, or until they are just smaller than the size you think they'll turn out. Heat oven to 350. When the oven reaches the correct temperature, bake loaves for 40 minutes.

Let bread rest 10 to 15 minutes before cutting it. If you skip this step the loaf will dry out.

I promise I will stop posting carb recipe after carb recipe after bacon fatty caramel drenched carb recipe very soon.

Speaking of Veterans Day

For the last week and a half, Henry and I have been at war. He has screamed, grumped, and clung continuously. He has followed me around, insisting on being held in a blanket taco and entertained by his personal prisoner.

I called my sister, at my wits end. When I asked her if her children ever went through a stage like this, she said, "No, my children don't scream as much as yours do." Awesome. She asked if he was teething, which hadn't occurred to me. I looked. Yes, he was teething. And she also made a suggestion that I buy some toy cars for the poor lad. "He always has a car in his hand at my house and he is always happy there."

What?! A toy car? You mean he is tired of playing with Grace's oversized fluffy pink unicorn and wants something to get a little testosterone flowing? This was a revelation for me. I have never bought any toys for Henry, because we already have toys for Grace. Why would we need to buy more toys?

I raced out the next morning and procured a small toy gas station with three cars, including the two pictured above. And Henry played contentedly with them for the rest of the day yesterday, occasionally accosting me to hold them up and say, "Car! Car!"

Moral of the story: Don't go to war with me, little children. I have the Allies on my side.

PS. Thanks to all of our real Veterans today. I love my freedom, and appreciate the sacrifices.

At Least the Shows are Educational

Last week while the sacrament was being passed at church, Grace looked down at her program, and stated, "Jesus loves you. PBSkids.org."

Lattice Pie Crust

Since I have an over-abundance of apples, I made another apple pie when our friends came over this week, and I thought I would try my first latticed crust. It is a lot easier than it looks.
Place your horizontal strips on the pie, and fold back every other one.

Place another strip of dough across the pie, then unfold the folded ones over the top of it, and fold back the ones that were previously unfolded.

Repeat that step until you get to the edge of your pie. Fold back the ones that are coming out from under the left-most vertical strip.

And repeat your alternating folding again.

Trim the extra pieces. I should have made my bottom crust come out from under with a lip, and then it could have been folded over the lattice edges and pinched until it was all perdy, but I didn't. Oh well.

I did brush milk on it and use the foil edge-tent method. I was very pleased with my results, and encourage everyone else to try it. My sister said the pie place in St. George is already sold out for Thanksgiving AND Christmas. Can you believe that?

*Note to self: never make apple pie without a peeler-corer-slicer. The resulting labor would bring nothing but abject misery and despair.