05 November 2007
Ode to Shannon Hale
I was recently pleased to find the sister of one of my very most favorite contemporary authors at my house. The lovely girl who came to visit is dating a good friend of ours from high school. I was pretty embarrassed, because she said, "My sister is an author." And she expressed interest in juvenile literature, my favorite, and yet I failed to say, "Oh, who is your sister?" Luckily, she soon volunteered that her sister was Shannon Hale, and I nearly choked. The Shannon Hale? My favorite, idolized writer whom I love? Anyway, in spite of my shaming myself by shock, I was delighted to find that in addition to loving Mrs. Hale, I quite like her sister now as well. (She was extremely beautiful, had good taste in men, and complimented my baby and the quilt I was working on--what's not to like?)
Anyway, I decided that in honor of my beloved Shannon Hale, I would write a special doggerel poem, embodying all of the literary badness that she always fails to exhibit. So here it goes:
Shannon Hale, Shannon Hale,
You sure know how to spin a tale.
Roses are red, Miris are white,
Your books are worth reading late into the night.
I adore your heroines, side kicks, and heroes,
I boo and hiss your villains, nemeses, and zeroes.
Peder and Miri, Isi and Geric, Enna and Finn,
Your romances always my heart will win,
Ledel, Selia, and their like were nasty.
But their dread power was doomed, and didn't last.
With plots that are twisty and give such delight,
her metaphors, similes are unique, and just right.
This writer's swell repertoire, lovely and grand,
is the fairest and most brilliant in all of the land.
She writes with great style, panache, verve, and flair,
and you have to admit, the girl's got great hair.
Of the bildungsroman you are a great master,
and we only wish you could crank books out faster.
Shannon, you're the best, and we all love you so,
We are happy your collection of work continues to grow.
So keep plugging away at your lovely writing,
And while we wait for the newest, our fingernails we'll keep biting.