02 April 2008

Something Wicked This Way Comes

If you would like to know how consummately evil my husband is, I'll tell you. There is this very nice southern lady at his work who always comes up and fawns over my baby girl and tells me all about her grandbabies. We'll just call this nice lady Mrs. J. So Alex and one of his co-conspirators, ahem--co-workers, have recently delighted in tormenting this poor technologically less-advanced person with their own tech savvy.

The two of them figured out how to make dialog boxes appear on anyone else's computer on the network with whatever message they want. Alex named his computer "Microsoft" and the co-worker named his "Autodesk" (a software they use very prominently in their office). Alex can also take over her screen and do what he wants from his screen. So yesterday on the great holiday of April Fools, they had their way with poor Mrs. J. Here are a few examples of their messages:

"Autodesk LiveScan System Scan Halted! A coagulation error has been detected. Please copy down error code OXXFF1XD0. If there are any computer programmers in your office, please ask them regarding this error and click "OK." Otherwise, click "cancel" to be contacted by a Microsoft representative."

There is no "cancel" button in the dialog box.

"Autodesk LiveScan system scan complete! Microsoft would like to examine your system more thoroughly. Will you allow a Microsoft representative to assume temporary control of your machine? This process will take approximately two (2) minutes. Press "OK" to allow.

He proceeds to take over her computer and run some random defragmentation. She is all excited, telling everyone around her that they're running all sorts of tests. Then he opens her email and does a search for "Friends Episodes." She backpedals in her enthusiasm.

"We have been contacted by Microsoft about a recent computer scan. There were several reported piracy issues. We will be turning this issue over to our Program Rectification And Nonconformant Kinetic Software division. You should be contacted shortly by them. Than you from the Autodesk Team. "

Notice the full acronym of the software division.

"Microsoft has been contacted by your company's Internet Technician and it has been determined that your software licenses are legitimate. Thank you for your cooperation in the scanning process. You will be notified if we can determine the cause of your fatal errors."

"Microsoft would like to contact you after-hours with a confidential phone call regarding your employer's software practices. Please confirm the following details:
Name: (her full name)
Home Town: (her home town)
Phone Number: (her phone number)
If this is correct, and if you agree to receive this phone call and keep any conversation confidential, please click "OK."

Again, no cancel button. Alex watches as she hesitates for several minutes before clicking "OK."

"Thank you for participating in today's activities. Please look at your calendar and confirm that today is April 1st. GOT YA:)"

This is why I married my husband: to make my own labors easier by getting exercise laughing so hard every day. Lucky for everyone Mrs. J is such a good sport, or I would have to worry about his name being on one of those lists of "People to Kill."


Jill said...

It's not nice to play jokes on the technologically challenged.
That being said, it was truly a clever joke!
After I had my first child, my company let me work at home. Occasionally, I would need to come in after hours to finish up some things I couldn't do at home. One night, I turned on a computer, and got an eror message that said something like "ERROR. Do not proceed. Corrupt files have been detected. Continuing past this point will cause irreparable damage to the hard drive. Shut down computer immediately."
I shut down the computer and tried several others, getting the same error message each time, so I just went home without finishing my work.
The next day I found out that the error messages were fake. They were put there because the people who cleaned the office at night were playing on the computers.

Angie Lewis said...

I've never been much of an April Fooler, but I sure enjoy hearing about other people's clever ideas!

Dansie Family said...

that is hilarious! it sounds like alex has watched "the office" one too many times. come to think of it, alex is like the guy on the office. funny. funny.

The Rookie said...

And this is why I hate April Fool's Day! I sooo would have fallen prey to the P.R.A.N.K. Followed by a wee panic attack. Ah, the cruelty of the technically savvy!

laceeJ said...

I think that is HILARIOUS! Only Alex could pull something that great! WOW! Awesome!

amy said...

that is the funniest april fools joke i have heard of since the one where you leave a note for your parents that says Mr. Baer called and include the number for the zoo. ha!

too bad i am not smarter. i would love to pull of such a highly polished and devious prank as your spouse. congratulations on marrying a comic genius.

Melissa said...

Too funny! It reminds me of an episode of "The Office"

Leisha said...

Awesome. I wish I had superpowers like that...oh, what I could do with them!