30 June 2008

How (not) to Lose Weight

Step on scale:
I really need to lose some weight. No, that would require eating less and exercising more. Ignore that annoying voice.

Step on scale next day:
I really need to lose some weight. Maybe if I just nurse Henry until he is five the weight will go away. Oh well.

Again with the scale:
I need to lose twenty pounds. Maybe I should try for ten first. Ten is a much more friendly number. I guess I'll have to eat less and exercise more. But if I quit eating when I'm not hungry, what will I do when I'm bored? And I don't have time to exercise. I'm so busy . . . blogging. It would be so convenient if rather than lose weight, I could just misplace it. I misplace my keys and glasses all the time with no inconvenience or trouble whatsoever.

Hello scale, my old nemesis. I really need to lose some weight. Oh, now I need to lose more than I needed to lose yesterday. How delightful. You know what else is delightful? That coconut chocolate chip cookie recipe. I haven't made those in awhile. I'm off to the kitchen.

14 comments:

Jessi said...

This is one of the best things I've read in a LONG time. I've had the same conversation with myself many, many times.

Angie Lewis said...

Yes...the post-baby weight...always a nagging feeling & the question of who will win. For me the battle is usually between ice cream and the scales (cookies are good too, though)...Mmmmm!

Melissa said...

Hee hee... I weigh the most I ever have - except when I was pregnant. And that just doesn't count. It's frustrating, and yet, I'm like you. I can't seem to garner the energy or conviction to actually do something about it!

www.potsandpins.com said...

Here's something for you to consider...if you lose the weight, someone else will just gain it - it's one of the "universe laws" so by keeping your weight the same you are actually doing someone a favor, in which case I believe you will be blessed. And here's something else you probably didn't know...if you actually gain weight (and this only counts when you're not pregnant) then you will be taking weight from someone else, thereby doing them a HUGE favor, and you'll be rewarded with even HUGER blessings....but the person "giving" you the weight will be cursed...so just don't go there.

Susan Vilate said...

Haha! I know how you feel. And I don't even have babies as an excuse. I guess I need to have my mom bring home some more books so I have something to do when I'm bored. You could try watching a movie that you like. Not the modern ones where the women are disgustingly skinny, the old ones where they're still normal looking. That always gets me motivated to lose weight. Like "Singin in the Rain." I want to look like Debbie Reynolds. Hmm...maybe I'll go running now. ;)

Hey It's Di said...

I blame my extra weight on baby weight. Can you still do that when your baby is 6?

I start diets on a daily basis and fail them just as often. One of these days I hope to get it figured out:)

betsey said...

This is why I love nursing. The Husband and I joined Weight Watchers after the baby was born--because we had both gained about 35 pounds during the pregnancy. He watched his calories, counted his points, gave up processed sugars--The Works! I gave a half-hearted effort, and nursed Baby Nora. We both lost the 35 pounds! It was great!

The problem is that he is still losing weight, while I have tapered off.

Maybe it was the pint of ice cream I ate over the weekend?

Dansie Family said...

just come for a run with me. the first few runs aren't fun, but then it is never-ending fun. anyway i'm planning on you doing the pioneer day 5K. and you look great anyway. Running is more for your sanity.

Heidi said...

Oh, Jen. How truly alike we are, in all the ways that matter.

We are BBFF.

Jill said...

I nursed my youngest until he was older than I care to admit. Within a week after weaning, I gained 10 pounds.
I don't think nursing Henry until he's five is that bad of an idea.

I have those same conversations daily. Stupid scale never has any nice encouraging things to say.

Bonnie & Eric said...

Just get rid of the scale! Thats why I dont have one. Then I am only disapointed once a month when I go to the doctors...my other days are great!

Brittany said...

That is hilarious. I'm about to jump on that emotional rollar coaster too here in about 60 days, but for now, at least I have something to blame it on and no pressure. That's the nice thing about pregnancy.

The Rookie said...

WORD!

jesse said...

Jenny, have I told you what a great sister you are? You always make me laugh. It's great. And you make other people laugh, so I can be like "Hey, I have this great sister. She's going to make you laugh." Yep. I love you.