After reading a post over at Seriously So Blessed the other day, I was thinking about just how much I love Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast. Here are some of my favorite lines about the Paragon of Manliness:
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I'm especially good at expectorating!
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
My what a guy, Gaston!
*It should be noted that some of these lines also apply to my dear Alex (especially the biceps to spare . . .)