13 July 2009

Letter from the Baby


Dear Mom,


I just want you to know that when you put that chair in front of the lazy susan I was not pleased. NOT PLEASED AT ALL. I feel it my duty as your beloved only son to empty all household compartments. I need to explore the contents and broaden my mechanical horizons.


When I place all of these things on the floor I am creating a healthy environment by allowing all family members to exercise their immune systems when they use these kitchen items for cooking, eating and drinking. So any rinsing on your part would be counterproductive.


I am also resentful that all of the small appliances have been cruelly locked inside another cabinet. As my father's son I feel confident that if I disassemble them I will be able to reassemble them. I really don't know why you feel compelled to separate me from my tinkering destiny.


Do not hold my food dropping against me. I drop food intentionally to help you strengthen your lower back. I care about your lumbarical health, mother.


If at any time you feel uneasy, please act frustrated. I will immediately snuggle, thus simultaneously demonstrating and making you forget my devious wiles.


Love, Henry

8 comments:

Marie Loves Ben said...

Dear Jen,
I think Henry has a really great point.
Love,
Marie.

Hey It's Di said...

OH seriously Henry can't be old enough to do all that can he?? How time flies!! It's amazing how much wrong can be forgotten with a snuggle from a cute baby;)

Tink said...

Too cute. I like Henry's point of view.

The Rookie said...

All that cuteness (and there is a lot of it) is designed for the sole purpose of preventing strangling.

Paulette said...

Isn't that the truth! Henry and Eli must be kindred spirits!:)

Brittany said...

This is just hilarious! I love it. You'd better start him a journal. Just don't let him look at the teenage years.

Dansie Family said...

you are hilarious and clever. thanks.

Sara said...

Dearest Sister,
Welcome to the world of little boys, they only become more curious. The messes grow. They also become more physical. Henry is darling. I can't wait to see what happens when Alex's son finds his first screw driver. ;) All in all, Amen to Henry's letter. The good Lord made children adorable so they are able to survive to adulthood.