05 August 2009


Death is so lame. One of my friends died yesterday morning. She was fighting cancer, and the cancer wasn't killing her. Then she caught pneumonia early in the week and the stupid pneumonia swept her off in a matter of days since her immune system was down.

I'm kind of angry that she just up and died like that. Her husband had been to death's door and back a year or two ago, so in my mind the two of them were sort of immortal. I completely expected her to kick the cancer and move on. I was complaining about this early death of an immortal to another friend, and she expressed her gladness that she had taken Marilyn cookies and visited her a little while ago. That made me feel a lot better. NOT!

I had a good cry about it yesterday. I take some comfort in the fact that she got to raise her children and experience grandmotherhood. But Marilyn was still what I consider as very young for death--only in her mid or late 60s. We have lost several younger women in our community this year, mothers who still had a few children at home and the younger sister of a dear friend, so early death has been on my mind a lot.

I don't know why some people have to die young and others get to live to 100. Each season of life has an innate value and grace that I would like to find, and it bothers me when these women leave before they get to experience all of the seasons. I'd like to watch my last child turn the tassel at graduation. I'd like to be able to wrap my grandbabies in quilts I make for them and then give them back to their mothers at bedtime. I'd like to clean house and cook for my daughters after they give birth.

I guess the lesson for me is that I need to taste the ripest fruits of each season and focus on the immediate now of every moment. The moment might be one in my last season. The other lesson is that NO ONE ELSE I LOVE IS ALLOWED TO DIE FOR THE REST OF THE DECADE AT LEAST!


Marie Loves Ben said...

thanks for expressing what i have thought and felt a lot recently. DEATH IS THE LAMEST!
LAME, LAME DEATH! (and that is totally an insult, death, so take that.)
i hope you (and me, i gotta be selfish here) get to experience all of those seasons. here's to life! and especially, lives well lived.

The Rookie said...

This was beautifully written. I'm sorry for your loss and the painful shock of it all. Death is a wretched, hungry beast that wreaks havoc in the worst possible ways. It is lame.

Growing old is supposed to happen for everyone! We all deserve that wintery season of life--I totally agree with you there. I also hate how death comes in and reminds us to appreciate the now a little bit more. Can't we gain that perspective without death in the equation?

Dansie Family said...

sorry. death totally does suck. i'm done with for a few years, too.

Paulette said...

Ugh! Death is LAME! Very well said. I'm sorry you lost your friend! Death in all it's ugliness is inevitable, I wish it wasn't that way. I really hope to see the seasons of life with satisfaction before I go, but the hardest part of life is the uncertainty whether I'll be able to or not (I'm being selfish too). It's not fair! The best we can do is have faith that in the end it will all be better and we kiss lame death good-bye! Christ overcame death! What a comfort to know!
May His comfort be with you!

The Lemmon's said...

I completely agree with you. I'm sorry for your sadness. I wish for all the same things and hope they happen for us both!! :)

Amy said...

How fitting! Monday I was very angry because it is not that I don't believe in the plan of salvation, but I don't get to have the experiences I planned on with my sister. Death is hard and it doesn't go away. Sorry for your loss...I'll cry with you.

Jesse said...

I'm so sorry. Even with gospel perspective there is no easy way to swallow it. A jagged pill, indeed. Thinking of you.

Jesse said...

Jen, your insight is beautiful. I'm glad that you're my sister. I love you!

potsandpins said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends...death is not what gets me, as no one gets out alive...what gets me is when someone wants to leave EARLY of their own accord! When I was in SLC a few weeks back my mom had a friend, in her late 70's, who overdosed on purpose...all I could think of was at that age, why bother?! I'm sure if she could have seen her grandkids sobbing at the viewing she might have rethunk it! Off topic - sorry - thanks for your post - it's a topic that no one ever talks about and yet it touches all of our lives. xo, Nan

angela michelle said...

so sorry :(