The amount of time it takes a mom to drift off to sleep is always = the amount of time it takes a small child to achieve boredom or hunger that requires maternal attention.
The number of toys on the floor increases exponentially as the number of small children in the house increases.
The number of times children will wake up in the night is directly related to how many hours of sleep the mother needs in order to face the coming day.
The number of times you can tell a child not to spill the crayons again is MUCH MUCH > the number of times a child can spill the crayons. Again.
A mother's blood pressure rises in direct relation to how much time before an event she gives the small children to put on their shoes, socks, and coats by themselves.
If children ate half the number of vegetables they throw on the floor each day, the other half could feed many hungry Africans. If children ate all of the vegetables they throw on the floor each day, all serious diseases would be eradicated in the United States due to increased good nutrition.
The number of minutes spent writing a blog post may be directly related the number of minutes per day in which a mother feels happy and sane. Happy/sane levels also depend on the number of times her children awoke in the middle of the night and the number of hours of sleep she received. Also indirectly related to the happiness level of a mother are the numbers of crayons, toys, and vegetables on the floor and the quality of the novels she has read in the last week at any given time.
And by "Mother" I mean me.