06 July 2010

24th of July Fun Run, Here I Come (But Don't Wait Up)

As I lamented my late finish to the race, a beloved relative told me that she ran cross country in high school and ALWAYS came in last. "Someone has to be last," she wisely said. So here are a few reasons why last is Awesome with a capital A.

1. Sometimes the prize for being first isn't really that great. I mean, who needs another jewel-handled toilet plunger?

2. If you are running in a beautiful area, i.e. all of Southern Utah, coming in last means that you had the most time to enjoy the scenery.

3. You make everyone ahead of you feel better that they weren't dead last. Every single person is glad because of YOU! You are practically Pollyanna. Without the crippled thing—unless the race was very bad indeed.

4. You can enjoy the excitement building up to the race without all of that troublesome nonsense of running to get in shape for it.

5. You are probably far enough behind that you can't even smell those stinky sweaty people at the front of the race.

6. You get to gripe much more about the pain you are in over the next few days than those people who are all taut and muscular who don't even get sore.

7. Alex was the last person I thought I would marry when I was in high school, and now our lives are full of joy and bliss.

8. If you are the last child born to your parents, you will be spoiled rotten beyond your wildest dreams in a way that none of the older children in your family ever dreamed of in their wildest dreams. Just verify this with any oldest child, such as myself.

9. The last year of high school is the most fun. (Yeah, I'm scraping the barrel so I can get to a nice round 10 things.)

10. First the worst, second the same, Last the best of all the game.


Cory Reese said...

Whoa, mama. Do I ever know last place.

I "ran" track one year in high school. Coming in last place at every track meet got a bit old. I can just imagine the track coach rolling his eyes watching me "run".

Linz said...


#8 is totally true. As a baby of the family, I can say this with absolute asurity. =D

The Yoder's Four said...

I love how you threw that reference to marrying Alex in there. Haha! I bet that made him feel so special.

I am impressed that you enter these races at all. And I also agree that #8 is true. Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

Anonymous said...

I love love love these. Plus, if I lived anywhere near you, you would probably lose that coveted last place award.

Dansie Family said...

but you weren't even last.

msjvd said...

Technically, Alex was the LAST PERSON YOU WOULD MARRY, now wasn't he? :)

Kristina P. said...

I have an excellent reason for why people shouldn't run. It's dumb. :)

Thank you so much for your comment! I wish I had gotten a chance to talk to you.

Oh, but I can make up for it by telling you that you won something in my giveaway. And it doesn't even include a kick to the crotch.

Tigger said...

I like your last comment. :)

Reminds me of grade school.