18 August 2010

And Speaking of Motherhood...

I did not die after writing my last post. But I am pregnant, so I may as well be dead. I can smell everything within a one mile radius, even unto a bacterial level. My body could sleep about 14 hours a day even if my mind would like to remain awake, plotting blog posts and quilt tops. I will stop complaining now, as long as you all know that I suffer. Thank you.

I have need of expertise in two matters.

1. I am considering a home birth. I have to consult with a couple of midwives I am interested in using first. One delivers at the hospital in Cedar City, which is very tempting, but will probably cost around $3,000 more, even epidural-free, just because it is in the hospital. We have a very high deductible insurance, so it would be in-pocket savings. $3,000 would purchase a lot of fabric and robot parts. I read Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife, which firmly convinced me midwives are pretty much the unsung heroes of our generation, and the home option is very tempting. Alex was originally adamantly opposed until he realized that home birth would still involve a midwife coming, and that he wouldn't have to do it all himself. Now there is a sliver of willingness I may be able to work on, if I really want to. What are your thoughts?

2. I have been asked to speak at my nephew's baptism. Please feel free to advise. It is only a two to three minute talk, so it must be short, awesome, and to-the-point. (Sweetness is highly overrated. Awesomeness cannot be overrated.)

Please discuss either or both. Thank you all.

20 comments:

Linz said...

First - congratulations!!!! Yea!!!

Okay - I am frozen in terror at the thought of a home birth myself, but I know several women who won't do it any other way. I have done all natural childbirth and it was wonderful. If (IF) I ever have more babies it will surely be done without drugs. My sister delivers her babies via midwife in hospital and loves it. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Simply, Sarah said...

Congratulations!!

My sister has had most of her 11 children at home with a midwife. If you need anyone to consult with, let me know and I'll get you her info.

When I had to speak at baptisms, I found that it was most profound when I made the talk simple, clear, and I directed the talk to the child being baptized.

amy said...

You already know I think home birth can be a better option for lots of women, and my suspicion is that people who read Baby Catcher and ask for people's opinions on their blogs are about to join the ranks of those who would benefit from the experience. Statistically it's safer, and I agree that midwives are the unsung heroes. If you are interested in more convincing reading, may I recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, as Ina May is primarily responsible for the resurgence of midwifery in the United States (plus she has a masters in English and is a pleasing writer).

If you decide to more seriously consider the nurse-midwife-in-hospital option, I would advise you to get a good recommendation and pay particular attention to your likely-overactive (due to pregnancy) intuition to make sure you get a good gut feeling, because sometimes nurse midwives are coming from a really similar place, philosophically, as OBs but have even less power in the hospital, so it can be even more important to find one who is on your same wavelength.

I don't think there is anything magical about midwives, other than their training in normal/physiological rather than medical/pathological birth, that makes them kind and full of wisdom and good judgment. Some OBs would out-good-judgment some midwives, though I'll admit I suspect you'd be better off taking your chances with the midwives given the paradigm of their training. It's more about the person than their title. The place can also make a big difference and I've known many, many people who love the comfort of their home as the best place to welcome their new little one.

Anyway, I hope you follow your intuition and have a great birth, wherever you do it, and keep me posted on what you decide!

I know nothing about baptism talks.

Project Maniac said...

I think an at home birth would really be dependent on getting the right midwife, much like finding the right OB. So if you do decide to do it that way, good luck on finding the right someone.

I agree with Sarah on the baptism talks, and add that a really cool object lesson might help. But definitely direct the talk towards the child.

Saddie said...

I've toyed with the same idea... hospital midwife or at home birth. After my firstborn being high risk, I tend to worry that something bizarre might happen and long for the supposed safety of the hospital. I thoroughly long for an IV/monitor free birth, though. I HATE how IVs make me feel weak, cold, and bedridden at a time when I should feel strong and capable. I also hate feeling waterlogged for the next three days - UGH! Luckily labor hasn't been too painful for me, even having been induced both times. It mostly just makes me want to walk around and around (not easy to do stuck to an IV/monitor, wearing naught but a hospital gown). So I have to think home birth is a good option.

As you can see, I am officially of two minds on the subject and look forward to hearing what you decide and how it all goes.

The Yoder's Four said...

I was thinking of you the past couple days as I had the stomach flu and couldn't get off the couch. Being pregnant is the worst sometimes!!

Home birth is usually OK if there's no complications, but with both of my deliveries there were very life threatening (and unforeseen) complications and I don't think either of my babies would have survived a home birth. So I would opt for birthing in a hospital even if you choose to do it with a midwife. You might save $$ doing it at home, but you might save a life (or two) by being in a hospital.

Also, it hurts like H*** doing it with no meds. Seriously. I wouldn't want to do it again! I don't need to prove myself to anyone by toughing it out!!

Kyle & Alicia said...

Yay!! You are pregnant! That is great, your kids are so stinkin' adorable. I am so sorry about being able to smell everything. That is the worst, because even something that usually smells good, smells gross when you can smell it really strong.

Mary said...

Congratulations on what we lovingly refer to as bionic nose! I wanted to have a home birth, but financially it didn't work out. Sad. We still had beautiful, drug-free, non-interfered with, on our own terms births at the hospital.

Baptism talk -- lots of props are good!

Robert and Sherry Leal said...

You don't know me and I can't remember how I stumbled upon your blog but I think you have witty and interesting posts. Please feel free to visit my blog, too, if you want to. It's just a family blog. Nothing special. Oddly enough, I am about to make it private (due to other circumstances) so if you don't make it over there before that happens, please feel free to request to be added to my list of viewers. It's only fair since I stalk you. :) Anyway, I'm commenting because I feel strongly about home birth. I am hoping to have a home birth with my next baby (whenever that might be). My first two I had naturally in a hospital. My sisters have both had home births and started a blog called AmericanChildbirthCulture.blogspot.com. I was all for natural but iffy on the home birth thing until I watched a documentary called The Business of Being Born (be prepared to see a few topless women giving birth). There are so many facts and statistics stated in that film that I was totally convinced that home births are the best way to have a baby, as long as everything else is coming along well and there are no pregnancy complications. I am truly looking forward to it. The movie is hosted by Ricki Lake when she was planning a home birth but the film maker she chose to help her (who happened to find out she was pregnant shortly after they started the project) was a total hospital-and-epidural kind of gal when the whole thing began. After doing the research and filming, the film maker was convinced, too. You can find it on Netflix and maybe at your library. You should check it out and, if possible, get your husband to watch it with you. Most men won't (mine won't) so I would suggest taking notes while you watch it to quote back to him later. Anyway, congratulations and I am truly excited for you, even though I don't really know you, and I hope you have the birth that you want to have. Really, the most important part is for you to be comfortable, relaxed, and happy with the birthing experience. Women are meant to have control over their own births, not the doctors. They only there to help if something goes wrong. And thank goodness they are there. I am certainly not anti-doctor. I have had two fabulous doctors deliver my babies, but I can see the need for women to be able to regain control over their bodies and their births. Good luck!

Robert and Sherry Leal said...

By the way, I don't know if you have had meds in the past or not, but natural birth is NOTHING to be afraid of. I cannot explain the rush, the emotions, the sense of accomplishment that comes from it. I don't have a basis for comparison since I've never had an epidural, but I know that I would never have it any other way. And it's not to prove anything to anyone. Maybe some people use it as a prideful point, but to me it's so much more than that. I just want other people to know that yes it's painful, but it's totally do able if that's what you want and there are ways to prepare yourself and minimize the pain. Pain management is a huge industry and there are MANY resources. Of course, the whole point is to do what is best for you and only you know that (I'm talking as much to the author of this post as I am to anyone reading these comments and considering home or natural birth.)

Jenny said...

Congratulations!!!

I used Laurie Hansen (midwife who delivers at the hospital) up here in Cedar with both of mine. We love her. Our first delivery was great. But I felt like I was the engine of a vehicle that was being driven by Laurie and the nurse.

My second delivery was perfect. I was the driver of the vehicle. Laurie missed the delivery by about a minute. I had Lydia…just me, I did not have anyone telling me what to do and when. I pushed when my body told me to. It was perfect! The only thing I would change would be that Logan could have caught her instead of having her slid out onto the bed.

I don’t know if I can go back to the being told what to do and when. I think I will check out a birthing center or do a home birth for our next child (if I can talk Logan into it). It would be awesome to have the best of all the worlds, but I just don’t know that a doctor would being all the emergency items to my home and just wait downstairs until someone called for him/her. Oh well…next best thing, a midwife.

Thora said...

Congratulations! I think it's a great idea to do a home birth, especially if you have a large deductable on your insurance. We are fully covered by our insurance, and I only stayed one night in the hospital, but we saw the bill, and yikes! was it not cheap. (I think it was 1500 or something for room and board for one night. That's not including any medical stuff they did). I'd like to have a home birth someday. I've used midwives for the three times I've had kids, and I like them a lot. I think I'd like even more not having to go somewhere in the middle of labor. I would have had a home birth this last time, except because it was cheaper to do a hospital birth because of my insurance.

angela michelle said...

Congrats on coming out of the closet!

My thought on home birth has always been how grateful I am at the hospital that once I totally slime the birthing room I can just get rolled into a totally clean room and never have to worry about all that mess. :) Although once I delivered at a birthing center where they did not roll me into a new room, and lying in that slimy bed was enough to make me get up and go home within an hour or so.

For baptism talks, I always do a bag of Holy Ghost object lessons: a telephone, a blanket (comforter)...maybe something else...then I end with a flashlight, which I give to the baptizee.

Marie Says Yes said...

YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!???

Wow. Congratulations! You poor, poor dear. Please complain all you want. I will listen to you until my ears turn blue!

Hm... Home birthing. I know people who love it. But to be the person who says what nobody else has said, I think a hospital is the way to go. I love my OB with a purple passion. I feel so safe with him. Plus, everyone always thinks "It won't happen to me." But as someone who has had it happen to me, believe me, suddenly the wonders of modern technology are... incredible. Either way, I agree to go with your gut. Or, shall we say, let the Holy Spirit guide. I'll love you either way.

Also, just to be a rebel, I think the epidural is the way to go, too. I'm so wild!

Catherine & Jonathan Edie said...

Hooray!!! I am so excited...and baby hungry:)

This may be redundant but I agree that you should really know the ins and outs of a midwife to a personal level as well. I had a college child development class at Dixie and we had a midwife come and speak to us. By the end I was convinced on A Lot of points and she seemed very professional. I was talking to my mom about it and she personally knew the midwife and some not mentioned facts in her statistics. I guess she had an emergency situation with the baby being breach. She convinced the mother not to get the hospital because she said she had everything under control, and she didn't. That would totally ruin my idea of staying home to be in control.

I would totally go for a home birth if I wasn't so paranoid about the what-if's. You are so brave-you go girl!!!

Jesse said...

I still remember when I was sitting across from the laundry room in the old house and mom told me about what it would mean for me to be baptized, specifically what I would covenant and what that meant, so I would be direct and simple. If you know what the best ways are for that nephew to learn, use that. For example, I remember really well what I hear, and I also understand lists really well (I don't know if mom realized that, but it worked).

Heidi said...

Oh, pregnancy. I would congratulate if I didn't know that you probably feel more like dying right now. Congratulations, anyway, I guess.

Pots and Pins said...

First CONGRATS! Anyone who has SUCH darling kids should reproduce!
Second I'm so sorry you're suffering, but by definition (being a mom) suffering comes with the territory...even at MY age I suffer! Remember that quaint little saying by the Brethren? Endure to the End...there is no end I tell you, no end at all!
Third...a HOME BIRTH?!!? Have you lost your mind?!? Just the thought of YOU having a home birth makes ME want an epidural! But I shall support you from afar...I'll get to work on a voo-doo doll, which I hear helps with birthing pain...since the only needles you'll get are the ones you can poke in the doll.
Fourth...When are you due? Let me know and I'll make sure to take pain pills in solidarity with you. I really am happy for you - another adorable baby! Lucky You! xoxo, Nan

Anne Smart said...

My sisters all do home births...my mom likes in the hospital with a midwife...my only experience was on clean up duty and honestly that was a real deterent for me. I worry over germs and clean house etc...none were pretty. Having not experienced it myself that is all I can say. Though I am thrilled to have another darling to love and cuddle!!!!

Call me if you want my short baptism speech:) Preferably after 4 pm on week days

Jessi said...

No words of advice....just CONGRATULATIONS!!!