Lately I've been reading a blog called "Get Rich Slowly," because let's face it: Who doesn't want to get rich? One of the things I really like about that blog is that it doesn't focus on riches in the traditional sense of gobs of cash, to be spent on hot pink leopard print stilettos and golden handbags. Richness is living a life where you don't have to worry about money for things like food and housing. The blog focuses on freedom from debt, personal finance, and uncluttered sustainable living.
GRS notes that to widen the gap between expenses and income it is often easier to increase income than it is to decrease expenses. This is especially true for Alex and me because we are already pretty frugal. So I keep thinking things like, "I should start an Etsy shop. Maybe I should find some freelance work online. I should sell our junk on eBay and Craigslist." I read about Sarah Agnes Prine (a fictional character), who ran her ranch, raised her kids, and had a soap business often all by herself, and thought, "I am a capable woman. I should be able to juggle my children as well as some extra work that could bring income for us with no problem. I don't even have to shoot outlaws in the meantime. What is wrong with me?"
Alex had an opportunity to do some extra work, and he didn't want it or take it. But I wanted it. I knew I would be good at it. It involved bossing other people around. I love bossing people around. I do it all day! It involved analysis. I love analyzing. I analyze things all day! I thought about the job a lot. I thought about how nice it would be to have extra money (all that fabric!), but every time I thought about it, I had this annoying sinking feeling. I knew that I just have to be a mom right now. Just a mom. And that's okay.
Maybe my kids will wear handed down clothes until they are old enough to get a job and buy their own. But while they are running around in those clothes, I will get to watch them. I will get to tickle them until they can't breathe. I will get to ignore them while I write sentimental blog posts. I will have the privilege of baking bread for them in the winter. They will run happily into the kitchen, and I'll pretend it's because they love me and not the hot bread. I will get to gently remove their tiny fingers from their siblings' throats, and lovingly place them in time-outs. And even though Mom is not a lucrative position that enables us to retire early, I will love it. Even if sometimes loving Motherhood is an act of will.