11 January 2012

Rowena's Theory of Floor Sweeping Futility

1. Prepare a lovely, delicious, nutritious meal for children.

2. Call children to the table.
2b. Call children to the table.
2c. Go pry toys out of children's hands and drag them to the table.

3. Studiously ignore upturned noses and snide remarks about the delicious, nutritious meal you have prepared, served, and cut up for them.

4. Allow children to pick at food and eat only the item you put on the plate just for them.

5. Children run to play.

6. Clear food and dishes from the table and counter.

7. Wash dishes and pick up broom.

8a. Children return to say, "I'm hungry!"
8b. Wonder if they did not eat enough of the lovely, delicious, nutritious food you prepared or if their metabolisms are, in fact, faster than lightning.
8c. Wish you had gone for a walk this morning, so that your eye wouldn't twitch in anger like that.

8d. Refuse to feed children Again.

9. Sweep the floor.

10. Clench jaw as children open refrigerator and pantry repeatedly, helping themselves to whatever they can scavenge.

11. Conclude that it is completely futile to sweep the floor any time before 9:00 p.m. if you desire it to remain clean for more than minus five seconds, which is just enough time for the children to drag their prey to the table and chomp it while you dump the dustpan.

6 comments:

Angie said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way!

angela michelle said...

My children do the same tricks. Hold the line, I say! Use the broom to chase them away from the pantry!

Kate said...

My mother says that when I was 4ish I tasted a meal she had made, looked up at her and declared, "mom, this tastes like garbage!"

Apparently it was just the right combination of hilarious and defeating that she still remembers it.

Kids are snots. Good luck!

Dansie Family said...

yep, i hear you. my kids are learning though. eat what i make or go hungry except for millie. she's kind of turning in to a spoiled brat. mayby she needs a younger sibling.

The Yoder's Four said...

BA! This is SO TRUE!

Kevin M. said...

At least they eat at the table.