09 June 2015

Some Some Summertime

It is summer time. After extensive analysis, I decided that my least favorite thing about summer is feeling like a short order cook day after day at lunch time. So I am taking charge this year by making a list of what we will have for lunch each day by category, as follows:

Monday: Sandwiches

Tuesday:  Pot luck at the park with friends

Wednesday: Noodles (spaghetti, ramen, mac n cheese, etc.)

Thursday: Eggs based

Friday: some sort of Salad, green or other

This simple list is a departure from my norm. Usually I make a detailed summer weekly schedule, which I follow religiously for a week or two, until I get sick of harping on the kids to do their "school books." Then we just read, and read, then read some more in the early parts of the day, and watch screens or play outside in the later part of the day. Occasionally we go to the city pool.

Usually, all summer my kids go to bed late, and I feel that I don't accomplish anything of significance. I settle deeper into frustration as the months progress until sometime in August, after school starts. I wake up one day from a fog of unproductivity and say, "Oh, this is what it is like to have sanity in my life again." I should probably feel guilty about it. Letting go of my usual controlling coping strategy this summer seems to have helped me relax a little. I am starting to enjoy these little people who are in my house before they become those mysterious teenagers everyone talks about so much.

This summer also differs because my older kids are starting to act older. They are more self sufficient, and more capable. It is simultaneously delightful and nerve wracking.  How can they grow up so quickly? I feel like I have already missed things I should have treasured more. The words to end this post just won't come. It is like I can't let go of thoughts of enjoying my children in any satisfactory way. I wonder what this means? I guess child rearing is more of a process than an event.


Brittany said...

I miss reading your blog. For some reason, it doesn't notify me anymore when you post, I'll have to figure that out. I just got James to sleep on his poor, tumultuous stomach. It's been a day of surgery-prep from H-E-Double-hockey-stick, and somehow my entire family ended up out of town this weekend. Do you know who I wish I could talk to right now? You. I'm so glad you're my friend. I guess when you're on the brink of insanity, the few people who come to mind to reach out to are your truest friends, so thank you for being that Jenny. Love you!

The Yoder's Five said...

I feel the same! Late nights, no productivity and me spinning my wheels. I love summer and no schedules but I am going nuts at the same time.