It is summer time. After extensive analysis, I decided that my least favorite thing about summer is feeling like a short order cook day after day at lunch time. So I am taking charge this year by making a list of what we will have for lunch each day by category, as follows:
Tuesday: Pot luck at the park with friends
Wednesday: Noodles (spaghetti, ramen, mac n cheese, etc.)
Thursday: Eggs based
Friday: some sort of Salad, green or other
This simple list is a departure from my norm. Usually I make a detailed summer weekly schedule, which I follow religiously for a week or two, until I get sick of harping on the kids to do their "school books." Then we just read, and read, then read some more in the early parts of the day, and watch screens or play outside in the later part of the day. Occasionally we go to the city pool.
Usually, all summer my kids go to bed late, and I feel that I don't accomplish anything of significance. I settle deeper into frustration as the months progress until sometime in August, after school starts. I wake up one day from a fog of unproductivity and say, "Oh, this is what it is like to have sanity in my life again." I should probably feel guilty about it. Letting go of my usual controlling coping strategy this summer seems to have helped me relax a little. I am starting to enjoy these little people who are in my house before they become those mysterious teenagers everyone talks about so much.
This summer also differs because my older kids are starting to act older. They are more self sufficient, and more capable. It is simultaneously delightful and nerve wracking. How can they grow up so quickly? I feel like I have already missed things I should have treasured more. The words to end this post just won't come. It is like I can't let go of thoughts of enjoying my children in any satisfactory way. I wonder what this means? I guess child rearing is more of a process than an event.