29 August 2015

Helpful Hints

1. Don't let clever one year olds near your printer. They may be very cute, but they are also capable of entering the number 95, and then pressing "Copy" while that thing you definitely don't need 95 of is on the machine.

2. If you are going to use a pen with permanent ink--ink specially designed not to wash out--to write on something you labored many hours to make . . . maybe practice first.

3. Sometimes when you feel sad, it is because your life is really, really sad. Other times, it is because you have not taken your vitamins (prenatal + iron + D + B complex).


4. If a cute yet evil 1 year old rips a library book page, and he has never done it before, immediately assume that it is a new skill rather than a random event. Hide all the rest of the library books in the whole house from him up as high as you possibly can.

5. If your husband gets a machine he has wanted for a very long time, maybe wait until a week or two after its arrival to let him know that you are more important to him than the machine. Let the man have a little joy in his life before you drag him down.

6. I got this one from a list somewhere: when you are really stressed out, take two miniature marshmallows. Stick one up each nostril. Snort them out. Ah. Doesn't that feel better.

7. If your phone fills up and won't take pictures anymore, Rejoice. You will start using your real camera again.

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