Rowena's Rants

Just Another Cute Baby

2012-01-21T10:37:00.001-07:00

Bon Voyage Baby Brother

2012-01-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

This is my baby brother. I took this portrait, and I am very pleased with it. He is leaving to Hong Kong for a semester next week. This morning the breakfast conversation between Grace and Henry went like this:

"Henry, Did you know Uncle Jesse is going to Hong Kong? He has to go to the other side of the world!"
"Whoa, that's too far. He will have to buy a boat."
"No, he will fly in a plane."
"Whoa, that's too high!"
Car passes outside
"Is that Uncle Jesse's airplane?"

Rowena's Theory of Floor Sweeping Futility

2012-01-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

1. Prepare a lovely, delicious, nutritious meal for children.

2. Call children to the table.
2b. Call children to the table.
2c. Go pry toys out of children's hands and drag them to the table.

3. Studiously ignore upturned noses and snide remarks about the delicious, nutritious meal you have prepared, served, and cut up for them.

4. Allow children to pick at food and eat only the item you put on the plate just for them.

5. Children run to play.

6. Clear food and dishes from the table and counter.

7. Wash dishes and pick up broom.

8a. Children return to say, "I'm hungry!"
8b. Wonder if they did not eat enough of the lovely, delicious, nutritious food you prepared or if their metabolisms are, in fact, faster than lightning.
8c. Wish you had gone for a walk this morning, so that your eye wouldn't twitch in anger like that.

8d. Refuse to feed children Again.

9. Sweep the floor.

10. Clench jaw as children open refrigerator and pantry repeatedly, helping themselves to whatever they can scavenge.

11. Conclude that it is completely futile to sweep the floor any time before 9:00 p.m. if you desire it to remain clean for more than minus five seconds, which is just enough time for the children to drag their prey to the table and chomp it while you dump the dustpan.

Recipe Reviews

2012-01-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have not posted a recipe for a long time, so I thought I'd just share links to a few that I have really liked lately.

1. Martha Stewart's Homemade Graham Crackers

I made these for the kids, and they loved them. I found the recipe shortly before Thanksgiving, and I also used it as a crust under a banana cream pie. I was very, very pleased. I loved the flavor and texture, and the dough was easy to form into fancy pastry shapes. I rolled it out with waxed paper instead of parchment, and that worked great. I found it amusing that her recipe calls for "high-quality" honey. I just used raw local honey, and it was fine.

2. Oven Fries

Actually, I changed this recipe's spices significantly, and the results were elbow-your-neighbor-for-the-last-spatula-full good. I added paprika and cumin and went easy on the red pepper. Mmmmmmmmmm. I previously underestimated the importance of cutting the potatoes small enough to be french fry-ish, and I also think I have over-oiled oven fries in the past pretty heavily. I saw another oven fry on pinterest that had ten times the oil of this recipe. To me that seems almost like deep-frying in the oven instead of a deep frier, don't you think?

3. Chicken Parmesan Bake

I saw this on Pinterest (ie the source of all the interesting food trials in my house for the last three months). Everyone to whom I have fed it has really liked it. It is worth the trouble of watching the video and writing down the recipe. I made homemade marinara and french bread croutons to top it, and they were delicious, too, but all that extra work makes me less inclined to do this often.
4. Easy Cheese Danish

I also found this on Pinterest. I tried it for Christmas morning breakfast. To avoid the grocery store on Christmas Eve, I halved the cream cheese, and the author was right that it is still yummy. Still, I will try with both packages of cream cheese next time, just because I think it would have been better with both. Love how easy this is.

The Road to Stardom

2012-01-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

This little girl lost her first tooth. She wasn't excited or anything.

She also wrote her first rock song. Thanks to a Phineas and Ferb episode for revealing the secret formula. Here is a transcript: oooooo oo Go Go Go Go I am a rocstor If You Evr see my (me) I roc The enD see I feel certain that she will remember us little people when she is an international superstar.

Quiet Book

2012-01-02T21:11:00.004-07:00

I finished a Quiet Book recently, and you can see more details over at Stitchhack.

Ward Party got Pinterested

2011-12-27T22:13:00.000-07:00

So, if you want to see what happens to a church function when some Pinterest addicts are in charge, check out this link right

HERE.

And you will know the awesomeness we experienced a few weeks ago. The young women of the ward served the main course, and there was a dessert table under the twinkle light chandelier. My kids were all over that crazy dessert table like hummingbirds on a red sugar water dispenser.

Christmas Letter 2011

2011-12-20T21:12:00.001-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

2011 has been a very busy year for us. Our business, Blue Desert Digital, has survived over a year. We are very proud to be part of the 20% of businesses who survive that long.

Alex began graduate school pursuing an MFA in Media Design in June. The rest of us have seen him since that time, but only fleetingly, and usually we just notice when he is flailing his arms or ripping his hair out at the computer screen of his 17” Macbook Pro (MC725LL/A) in the corner. Jenny has started calling it Tosha, and considers Tosha the other member of the marriage for this year. Alex grew a handlebar mustache in November, earning the delight of his wife and the respect of his Priest quorum. He also sold footage to National Geographic this year, which was a great stroke for his ego.

Jenny gave birth naturally for the first time in March. She is still adjusting to having three children, and when she is not tying Every Shoe and zipping Every Zipper, she may be found rocking back and forth, crouched in her padded corner while sucking her thumb. She still enjoys reading, blogging, photography, quilting, yoga, and walking off her anger management issues.

Grace began kindergarten this year, causing the onset of full-blown anxiety in her mother. Grace is quickly learning how to read. She continues in her deep and abiding love for paper dolls, and included the following on her Christmas list: “Real Kamra, Borbys, My Litel Pony.”

Henry has grown bigger this year, as has his lung capacity. Grace wrote his Christmas list for him, and it included "Trans" (the choo choo kind), "Transformrs, Sooprman, and spibrmAn." Henry is very gentle with the new babies in the immediate and extended family, except when he is trying to get Scott to wrestle with him, or attempting to ride the baby, and then Henry is not very gentle.

Scott, who has now joined our list of tax deductions, delights all who view him with his pretty eyes and infectious smile. He likes to eat a lot. At a week and a half overdue, he was our latest arrival, but he was worth the long, miserable, drawn-out, ridiculous, excruciating (did we mention long?) wait.

A Few Stats for Good Measure:

This letter being printed and mailed with attractive recent photos: 3%

Us having another baby naturally: 50%

Alex using earplugs next time if we do: 100%

Jenny winning arguments with Henry: 75%

Us wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year: 100%

Sending love your way,

Alex, Jenny, Grace, Henry, and Scott

Elf Work

2011-12-15T21:52:00.001-07:00

The Red Mamba

2011-12-06T17:05:00.001-07:00

If this baby were a supervillain, this outfit would be called The Red Mamba.

How to Feel Like You Gained Weight without Actually Gaining

2011-12-06T11:16:00.001-07:00

Wash jeans.
Air dry.
Wash jeans.
Air dry.
Wash jeans.
Air dry.
Think, with naive optimism, "Wow, these jeans are starting to get loose! I must be losing inches even though my weight is the same."
Wash jeans.
Machine dry.
Let go of naive optimism.

Book Group, Fertility Awareness, ie Men Stop Reading Here

2011-11-29T10:38:00.001-07:00

I don't think I have reported on book group for awhile now, so I thought I'd better catch up. In October we did Vampires, and I read a short story by Anne Rice called The Master of Rampling Gate. I tried to read something else by Rice, but I just couldn't get into her writing style.

November's theme was Russia, and I checked out a book of Chekhov's plays, which I ran out of time to read after a brief perusal of the preface/biography part. After hearing what everyone else thought about what they read, though, I think when I get around to reading Russian literature, it will have to be The Brothers Karamazov, because Anna Kareneininerneener has adultery, and I pretty much hate adultery and would have a difficult time sympathizing with an adulterous character.

I haven't read my book group fare very well because I have been reading this book:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler. I LOVE this book. I think every woman concerned in any way with fertility should read this book, if for no other reason than it helps her understand the every day and every month workings of her biology. I am not quite done reading it, but I love the writer's humorous tone. It is packed with useful information about female anatomy and biology.

The subtitle is The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health. The natural birth control method is what got me interested in this book, but after reading it I am recommending it to everyone I can possibly weasel into a conversation about it. (By the way, this method of natural family planning is NOT the rhythm method. This method involves charting your own temperature and other biological indicators every day.)

I just feel like it is so empowering to completely understand your own biological processes. I feel a little frustrated that when I got married and asked the doctor what my options were, this one was not mentioned. Everything listed was hormone or barrier. I am having a hard time not calling all the people I know (and care about) who struggle with fertility issues and saying, in my nasal voice, after pushing my glasses up my nose, "Have you read this?" I especially think this would be a good book for those who are early in their infertility journey, to help them feel like an intelligent participant in their conversations with their medical practictioners.

I would offer if anyone is interested to let them borrow this book, but I want to keep my copy for reference. So if you want it, buy it. It is cheap on Amazon, and you will want your own copy. I tried to check it out from the library, but someone had kept it and paid for it.

Thanks for the recommendation, no longer childless housewife.

The Moment You have All been Waiting For

2011-11-21T16:50:00.001-07:00

It is true. This man loves me enough to grow a handlebar mustache for cancer awareness all month in November, and let me photograph it.

Just Call Me Pollyanna

2011-11-16T16:16:00.001-07:00

I can't recall if I mentioned that Alex is doing graduate school right now? Well, he is. His school is probably a large contributor to my less frequent posting and my grumpy tone.

The other day I was having a rare moment of sympathy for him, and I said, "Well, you are either worrying about school, worrying about work, worrying about church business, or in a good mood. And if you are in a good mood, I realize that it is a good time for me to vent all of my frustration to you, so you pretty much have only stress right now." This was a momentous revelation to me, even as it came out of my mouth. I realized that it is time for me to quit complaining.

So we are doing it together. And we have had the happiest few days in a long time.

Bargain Fail

2011-11-09T21:05:00.001-07:00

Do you ever try to make a deal with God? I was trying to do that today.

This week has been full. I have had (and still look forward to) a few play dates. I have dropped a can of pumpkin on my baby toe, which is now purple. A good friend is moving to the end of the earth—a place even more rural than here, if you can imagine that. Some of her friends held a luncheon for her today, so I walked in and sat down next to her. I promptly burst into tears and ran ashamedly to the bathroom, where I dropped my glasses and nerdy sunglass attachment in the clean toilet.

All of this excitement happened in a quick stop while I was on a break from making applesauce with Sara. I stopped saucing to take Grace to school, grab a shower, and head back to Sara's before I picked up my carpool kids, assisted with a Primary ice cream party, and got dinner and the evening routine going. Moms, are you nodding your heads? I know. We do this Every Day.

I requested of God this deal: Hey, how about if I work on being more flexible so that all of these interruptions and distractions and general busy-ness quit making me feel like I am drowning in a pool of stubby crayons with their removed wrappers. Then, once I am more flexible, You can bless me with a long period of time free from all of those distractions?

Sadly, I realized that if I succeed in my side of the deal, the point of the bargain will be defeated. I guess it is time for me to take the example of Miss Jill and "tough love" myself into acceptance of my life.

So. How has your week been?

Borrowed Cameras, Etc.

2011-10-31T19:47:00.000-06:00

Alex kindly left my camera in manual mode, as he does Every Time He Borrows It. So this was my first shot of Grace's school costume parade. It was followed quickly by these two:

She is a "ballerina bug who lost their antenna," according to herself.

It is amazing and annoying how their lives sort of just march right by, while I watch with my very eyes, and sometimes I don't watch and get only blurry memories. Then I realize what is happening, so I scramble to pay attention, and then it is time for the next thing before I am even done shooting pictures of this thing.

Overheard the Morning of the Primary Presentation

2011-10-23T18:55:00.000-06:00

Alex has just finished dressing Henry in his church clothes.

"You look handsome."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't." Okay.
"Why not?"
"I need hairspray."

Homemade Laundry Soap Review

2011-10-21T14:59:00.001-06:00

A long time ago I briefly looked into making my own laundry soap. I didn't research thoroughly, and assumed that it would not save very much money based on the ingredients. Then one of my friends explained that the ingredients make a liquid soap, which lasts far longer than I was assuming it lasted, taking the cost of laundry soap from 12 to 15 cents per load down to 1 to 2 cents per load.

I was convinced to try it.

My friend sent me this recipe (we altered it a little)
1 bar Fels Napa soap

1 C 20 Mule Team Borax
1 C Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda

Grate soap in a food processor or cheese grater as small as you can. (If you don’t, it won’t dissolve. She has a cuisinart that worked spectacularly.)

In a large stock pot, heat 1 gallon of water and add the soap granules. Heat until all the soap is dissolved, but do not let it boil.

When the soap is dissolved, add the Borax and washing soda and dissolve these in the water.

Dump this liquid into a 5 gallon bucket and add 3 more gallons of water. Stir.

She and I both use the Kirkland brand laundry soap rectangular bucket with the lid, which fits almost exactly the four gallons.

Add 1/2 cup of this liquid to the washing machine for an extra large batch of laundry.

I am now into my second batch, and I plan to continue using this stuff. After about a month using it, I started to miss the perfume from normal laundry soap. This soap gets laundry clean, but doesn't scent it. So I bought another box of Gain (my favorite) and now include a couple of teaspoons in each load.

I am still tallying the number of loads per box of Gain I get to see what this does to the cost, but that tiny bit of the perfumed stuff makes it so I can tell if something is freshly laundered or not.

One thing I like about this homemade soap method is that the items I hang to dry are far less stiff from the detergent than they were before.

If you are very attached to your current brand of soap, you might consider storing the ingredients and recipe as a method of provident living, because they take up much less space than a year's supply of anything else would.

Harvest Time

2011-10-13T14:29:00.000-06:00

Tic Tac Princess

2011-10-09T15:21:00.000-06:00

This is a little game Grace invented while playing tic tac toe with Alex the other day. The girls draw princesses, and the boys draw X's.

Grace won this match against my brother by cheating at her own rule, which is:

"If you don't draw ears on the princess, you lose."

Positive Affirmations by Rowena

2011-09-30T14:06:00.000-06:00

I think I should print these out and put up on my mirror as positive affirmations to recite every morning to help my attitude.

Today I can clean and straighten my house better than a six year old.

Today I can keep my head far enough away from the camp chef when I light it that I will not singe off the precious few strands that have begun to grow back after my extended period of severe hair loss.

Today I can mop the kitchen floor that has not been mopped in [CENSORED].

I believe in myself. I am strong. Today I can out-stubborn Henry.

Today I will acquiesce to Grace's demands and wear an outfit that matches hers.

Today I can wear normal clothes instead of my 80s Zumba getup from last night's dance/workout party:

Today will be an awesome day.

It's Official

2011-09-21T22:28:00.002-06:00

I had the carpool Tuesday this week, and one of our carpool friends came over after school until her mom got home from work. Let's just call her Ava to protect her privacy. So "Ava" and Grace were playing really well together in Grace's room. I heard happy and peaceful noise, and I was doing something in the kitchen, so I didn't check on them right away.

When I went back to check on them, something was not normal in Grace's room. Both beds were neatly made, and all of the toys were picked up from the immaculate floor. All of the shoes in the closet had been moved carefully into the corner, so that toys I normally pile in corners around the room each had a nice parking place. The typically toy-strewn doll cradle held a baby doll, perfectly tucked in with a neat little doll blanket over her. Every blanket was crisply folded and stacked in an appropriate place.

They had been playing "maids." I realized that an unusually talented six year old girl had cleaned my daughter's room for her TEN TIMES BETTER THAN I HAVE EVER CLEANED IT. I think this means I am officially housework challenged.*

*If you need further evidence of my claim, I burned spaghetti sauce and massacred stroganoff both this week.

Puppet Show Audience + Misc.

2011-09-19T21:19:00.000-06:00

The other day Henry and Grace invited me in for a puppet show, so I went to watch, and when they were done I noticed that behind me they had lined up all their toys. So I had them sit for a shot of the illustrious audience.

Scott performed as an extra in a movie last week. This experience (as a "baby handler") taught me that I am not cut out for film making or movie stardom. It is kind of a relief, really. I was always worried about the impact it would have on my family when I was "discovered," but now I will just politely decline.

I am working for Alex doing some mockups this week. I miss my kids when they are not in my hair driving me crazy and messing up every clean surface of my house.

Book group was last week. You can read about it on the hostess' blog HERE if you are interested. I am still finishing the book Posession by A.S. Byatt. If you read it, I recommend skimming some parts because Byatt really does just go on and on unnecessarily a few times, but it is a great plot and beautifully written.

Just in Case

2011-09-13T22:20:00.002-06:00

So, if you ever unplug your printer, and give it to your husband's business, and then go without one at home for almost a year, here are a couple of tips:

1. Don't forget that the printer is not there, and send things to print about twenty times before you remember.

2. Don't let your children click on "print" anytime they want on PBS.org for that whole year and then go to the bathroom right after you plug in your new printer.

3. Your computer will probably run more smoothly if you don't have a year's worth of prints for it to queue up every time you turn it on.

As a side note, if anyone needs some scratch paper, we have a lot now.

From XKCD

2011-09-06T14:55:00.001-06:00

http://xkcd.com/946/

I often feel the accuracy of this. They're worth it. When I live in an RV, they will only each have to have me a few months of the year.

Five and a Half Months (Nine Month PJs)

2011-08-31T20:53:00.000-06:00

My Favorite Swearword

2011-08-30T16:44:00.000-06:00

It is peach season here, and it has been a bad year for peaches, with many of the trees producing very little because of a freeze or wind or something. My dad had an orchard that he sold, which he now leases, and he has been keeping cows in it, so they have eaten every peach they could reach, also.

I went out to pick very early in the morning yesterday so Sara and I could bottle the few peaches that are left. I was a little worried about the cows, because I would have to hold my bucket in the tree with me or up high so they couldn't stick their heads in the bucket while I picked. When I got there, I did not see any cows. That was a huge relief, and I assumed Dad must have moved them. I left a laundry basket on the ground right where I started picking so I could dump my ice cream buckets of peaches into it.

I wore long sleeves in case there were mosquitoes, and there were. The long sleeves were not enough. Mosquitoes totally swarmed my face and hands, and I saw three or four on each hand at a time, draining me dry like the little vampires they are. I looked down at my jeans and saw 20 or so on each leg. I kept slapping my hands, and even left a dead one on my sleeve to scare them away, but to no avail. They started buzzing in my ears, too, and I was afraid I might go crazy like those people you hear about who get a bee in their ear.

I decided it would be worth it to drive all the way home to get bug spray. This meant 20 minutes of picking time loss, when I was in a hurry to get home before Alex left for work. As I got out to shut the gate, I looked back at my basket of peaches, and a nefarious bovine had been hiding nearby, waiting for the right moment. He was headed straight for my precious peaches!

"DAMMIT YOU STUPID COW!" I yelled, as I ran to rescue my peach gold.

Luckily, I arrived in time, and Sara and I bottled 21 quarts yesterday, and plan to finish bottling tomorrow.

Apparently that is my favorite swearword because I have said it twice in the last five years. Both times, peaches were involved.

As a side note, if you have a fruit tree, and do not have one of these:

Your life is not complete. I got one at a freight salvage a few years ago, and I knew my life would never be the same. And it hasn't.

* I do not know if you buy via this link whether it will add to the 62 cents in my amazon affiliate account or not, and I don't really care. I just want you to know about this product because it is pretty much the only reason we have any peaches this year because my ladder won't fit in my suburban because of the cng tanks.

Why I Love Not Camping

2011-08-22T15:03:00.000-06:00

We went camping the weekend before last. We borrowed Alex's parents' tent trailer, where the beds go out to the side of the trailer with tent over them. The kids slept on one side, and we slept on the other. Alex didn't know you are supposed to tie the tent part to the trailer. So in the middle of the night we heard this:

FWUMP
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Henry fell out of the tent trailer onto the dirt outside. I had to hurry and put my shoes on to go rescue him, since Alex seemed mildly disoriented. Luckily I was sleeping in my clothes. Anyway, I picked him up and shushed him and told him every thing was okay while brushing him off, and about five seconds later he fell back asleep in my arms before I even got him back to his bed.

We recounted the story to our friends the next morning, and Henry denied it because he didn't remember.

Twinkle Toes

2011-08-20T20:38:00.001-06:00

This is what happens to poor helpless boy children who chose not to be the girl who big sister wanted.

Ode on a Spaghetti Stained T-Shirt

2011-08-12T11:27:00.000-06:00

I lamented to Grace the other day that she had spilled spaghetti sauce on her t-shirt at lunch time, and she said, "That's okay. I still look cute."

I posted the exchange on facebook, and it lead to an interesting discussion as to whether she, or little girls in general, have too much focus on appearance in their lives.

I enjoyed this article about How to Talk to Little Girls, from the Huffington Post, which a friend posted. The author posits that with all of the anorexia problems, and small girls wearing mascara and makeup, we need to stop saying how adorable little girls are and talk to them about other things like books, etc. She says this change of focus can send girls the message that we value them for more than just their appearance. I totally agree.

This subject has been on my mind lately because I have been trying to decide at what age I need to start buying new clothes for Grace to wear to school, even if I don't think she needs any new clothes because she has had plenty of clothing handed down to her.

I remember being very humiliated my first year of high school because I didn't get any new clothing to wear until a week after school started. I don't remember at what age new clothes became so important to me. In retrospect, I don't think the clothing was what bothered me. It was the feeling that every other kid in school had something that I didn't. Maybe I should have been thinking about the fact that I came from a clean, loving, non-abusive home. But I didn't. I thought about clothes.

I hate to humiliate Grace or emotionally scar her in any way, but at her age, she is as excited about the new hand-me-downs I saved for her as she is about going to buy new clothes at the store.

Anyway, I had more to say about this subject than I thought facebook-size. So here it is. I loved Grace's comment. To me that said, "I am comfortable in my own skin. I love myself just the way I am." Being comfortable with who you are does not come easily to many, and I feel that if my children are comfortable and happy with who they are, I am succeeding in doing my job as a mother.

What if my kid has a face that only a mother could love? (Of course, I would never consider giving birth to an ugly child, but that is another subject altogether.) Well, every day I will tell that child I love that face. That way, they will never question that no matter what the snotty girls at school say, there is someone out there who loves and treasures them and thinks they are great.

I do worry sometimes that she cares too much about clothes and toys, but I think many of us fight materialistic demons our whole lives. For some, including me, it is a skill to not want that car, that house, or that hoard of fabric. If I'm still honing that skill in my thirties, I'm not going to worry too much about my five-year-old mastering it. I'll encourage her away from materialism any way I can, but I'm not going to lock her in an empty room with no toys until she stops asking for them.

I understand the valid concern that five year olds and younger are worrying about being fat. I also think there is nothing wrong with caring about personal appearance if you keep that care in balance, and don't base your self worth strictly on your personal appearance.

I have learned from the family I married into that beauty pageants do have their place for some girls. I am into photography, and quilting. I am not really all that jazzed about the pageant scene. But some women are really into poise and appearance in the same way I dig photography. And many of these women are normal, healthy, and have positive, balanced self-images. I think it is wrong to dismiss these women as shallow or too-worldly just because they are not just like me. In the business world, personal appearance can have its advantages, and you don't have to be magazine cover "pretty," to look nice and take good care of yourself in a way that leads to success.

I might feel bad because my quilting skill is not where I want it to be. That disappointment can lead me to improve. As long as I don't engage in crazy bouts of negative self-talk and depression that I am not as good as Virginia Olsen, a little disappointment can be a positive motivator. I think it is the same with appearance. There is nothing wrong with thinking I could improve my appearance -- as long as it doesn't become an unhealthy obsession leading me to need botox and boob jobs.

For me the truth about beauty is this: Love yourself. You are a child of God. That is all you know on earth, and all you need to know.

First Class

2011-08-05T21:53:00.000-06:00

First Class describes the mail I received today, along with the sister who sent it.

Recent Reads

2011-08-04T09:05:00.000-06:00

My reading has slowed during the summer, but here are a couple of things.

I read A Midwife's Tale, by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich (who also wrote Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History). Ulrich won the Pulitzer prize for her in depth study of the diary of Martha Ballard, which records Ballard's daily life as a midwife in the late 1700s and early 1800s. I thought I would be bored based on the entries in the prologue, but Ulrich really helped paint a vivid picture of Martha's life and the times. I recommend this book to history buffs, and anyone interested in women's stories.

Last month I was supposed to read A Midsummer Night's Dream, by Shakespeare, because our group was going to go to the Shakespeare Festival. I ran out of time to read it, and everyone else ran out of time to go, too. Actually, my real reason for not reading, is that I read while nursing, and the Riverside edition of the Complete Works of Shakespeare that I own is just too bulky to fit on my boppy pillow with the baby, and too heavy to hold one handed. Perhaps another season of life will be my season for reading Shakespeare. I did read the introduction to the play, and I remember from college days that it is a great edition, so I recommend it to anyone wanting one.

I just finished Gail Carson Levine's A Tale of Two Castles. I enjoyed it more than Ever, but not as much as Fairest or Ella Enchanted. If you are a Levine fan, read it.

Blendtec Blender Giveaway

2011-08-03T21:36:00.000-06:00

I would like to direct your attention: HERE. If you click there, you will be taken to Apron Strings, an excellent food blog. They are giving away a Blendtec blender, and you should probably not enter, because my blender is sort of broken, and I have to have Alex screw it back together every time I use it too heavily.

Also, I am jealous of my sister's Vitamix Blender. If I won, we could have an exciting blend-off.

But I won't stop commenting on your blog if you enter. I guess.

Onion Braid + Carousel

2011-08-03T18:10:00.002-06:00

This is the first year I have had success with gardening, and my success only came because I am gardening with three other very talented women. Two of them have even killed gophers with their bare garden tools. I am very proud to garden in such company.

This braid of onions is my share (minus the ones the gophers got), along with the small mountain of zucchini I have received every week for the last few weeks. We have eaten zucchini as a layer in lasagne, an extra in waffles, and in lots of zucchini bread over the last little while.

Incidentally, Henry eats the bread and the waffles, so I am succeeding in my secret vegetable infiltration attempts. Hooray!

There is a birthday for someone very special in our family this week. We celebrated Monday because he will be going out of town to a conference on his birthday. Total cost for our family to ride the carousel: $2.

This is for All the Balding People

2011-07-28T12:34:00.002-06:00

Here is a list of recent evidence I have discovered of my own aging.

* I have a bunion.

* Grace is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. This fills me with inexplicable dread that I am on a steep slope headed toward grandmotherhood in a few short years. At least I have a head start on the quilting.

* Henry said I was MEAN the other day. I thought that Mean Mom was a prestigious title only applied to mothers of teenagers.

* I have a sensitive knee and trouble with my hip.

* I have difficulty remembering my own age.

* I keep referring to women by their maiden names, even if I have only known them after they were married.

* The other day Alex came home from work and asked why I was holding a fifteen-year-old boy on my hip. I suspect that nursing a fifteen-year-old may be related to my hair loss problem (see below). I will begin feeding him vegetable gruel and rice cereal immediately.

* My hair is starting to fall out, and I am going bald in the front. The baldness is luckily easily covered by careful combing of my bangs. But I am still gravely concerned.

I texted all of my sisters, that they might console with me in this trying time of early hair loss, and one of them phoned to laugh at me and cheerfully say, "Hello Baldy!" Luckily, the others were more sympathetic and suggested various products containing Biotin. I guess you never know until you try.

Happy Pioneer Day

2011-07-25T21:33:00.000-06:00

In honor of Pioneer day, we lit some pioneer sparklers.

And this little pioneer said I was a MEANIE and THE BEST, on the same day.

This little pioneer went to market. Just kidding. This little pioneer got her ability to smile un-genuinely for the camera from one of her ancestors, also known as The Best Meanie.

Now that I am again Driving Legally,

2011-07-19T21:11:00.000-06:00

I have a little story to share. I had to buy something for Alex on an account at the grocery store in mid-June, and the cashier pointed out that my drivers license had expired. I had not changed the address the last time I renewed, an we had moved. I immediately began to feel guilty every time I drove for the two weeks it took me to renew.

One day during that two weeks, I was driving on 600 North, which is a new road past our elementary school. This road would probably have a speed limit of 45 if it weren't for the fact that it passes so close to the school. Sometimes I catch myself going 45 on it, and slow down to closer to the speed limit, which is 35. On the morning in question, I did just that. I noticed I was speeding past the school, and slowed down. I checked my rear view mirror, and what should I behold but one of Hurricane's finest, flashing his lights at me to pull over.

Fear and panic gripped me. I slumped in my seat, all sorts of car impounding, stern lecture, large dollar sign images racing through my mind. The officer walked up, and I sheepishly said, "Hello."

He looked at me, all serious, and asked, "Did you know you have a brake light out?"

"Why, yes officer. We plan to replace it today. The registration is up this month. It also needs some antifreeze."

Eying the children in the back seat, "How many have you got there?"

"Three. They are a handful."

We finished chit chatting, and he returned to his car without impounding my vehicle, sternly lecturing, or gravely handing me a ticket for one million dollars payable yesterday.

It was horrible. It was intense. It was awesome.

Hummingbird

2011-07-19T20:46:00.001-06:00

It is amazing how fast they grow. It looks like the other egg didn't make it, which is sad. I noticed from the earlier picture that they were slightly different in color, so maybe the other egg was just never fertilized. I'm trying to photograph it regularly, because I hear they just fly away one day.

Elizabeth Post Rolls over in her Grave

2011-07-15T20:49:00.000-06:00

Regardless of the pains we have taken to teach our children good manners, sometimes the dinner conversation will go like this:

Child: MORE!

Adult: I am not even going to respond to that.

Child: MORE PLEASE!

Adult: I don't even know what you want.

Child: MORE RICE PLEASE!

Adult: You are still doing it wrong.

Child: Can I please have some more rice?

That's right. The fourth attempt.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Every day I identify more with mommy hummingbird, whose job seems to be to hover near the nest above our front door, various food items dangling from her mouth after successful foraging. The baby bird just sits there and waits, beak straight in the air, for MORE.

The Gun Show

2011-07-12T22:02:00.000-06:00

Alex and I would like to note, for the record, that he is not in fact helping his bicep in the last picture.

Nope, it was not his charm, wit, humor, good looks, cleverness, or curly hair that won me (though naturally they helped). It was the guns.

In an unrelated note, I must be feeling unusually happy lately. I have had to delete three exclamation points from my posts, and I am usually so stingy with them. Even there, I was tempted. And there. And there. Must ... resist ...

Every Girl Loves a Man with a Farmer Tan

2011-07-12T09:57:00.002-06:00

This girl included.

Hummingbird Progress

2011-07-11T22:11:00.002-06:00

Last week we sprayed for bugs before they were able to carry the house away, and luckily the guy noticed our nest and asked if he should spray around it. He did, and after he did we only saw the mom bird once. I was getting really nervous because I thought she might lose her eggs.

Yesterday at church, the speakers were a new couple in our ward, and the husband has a masters degree in Ornithology (The study of birds). I talked to the wife after the meeting, and she asked if I had looked in the nest, because sometimes hummingbirds will move their eggs if the nest becomes compromised. I had not.

Until today. And look what I found:

I still haven't seen the mother bird, so I am still a little worried, but the baby was definitely breathing. I am hoping Momma just got shy, or didn't want little beaks poking her tummy since she knew they were coming.

Additional Benefits of Party Training

2011-07-05T21:00:00.000-06:00

Freedom from diapers saves money, it is true, but here is a list of additional intangible benefits you too can receive from potty training.

1. Dry Beds. Many savvy children will realize early that in the grand tradition of bedtime stalling, potty training leads to a free pass out of bed every time. I know this because Henry has not yet wet the bed once because he drains himself of all fluids by the time he finally falls asleep.

2. Patience. I prefer not to talk about this one. The wounds are still fresh. But trust me, your patience will grow!

3. Humility. If you are really proud of your newly potty trained child who has stayed dry and clean for four days straight, including the night time, DO NOT feed him apricots and apricot leather for lunch, and watermelon for dinner, and then send him with your husband to a friend's house while you go to book group. Unless you want the humility intangible benefit, too. In which case, go for it.

Also, if you want that benefit, make sure to send two pairs of extra underwear as well as several diapers along with the husband in spite of your philosophical opposition to putting diapers on a newly potty trained child. I only say this because if you only send two extra pairs of undies, they will be insufficient, and your husband will have to borrow a diaper (or maybe two) because there will be nothing left in the house to cover your poor fiber-riddled offspring's back side.

Graceful Art + Apricot Art

2011-06-21T20:54:00.000-06:00

Henry will begin earnest potty training tomorrow morning. Grace decided that it should involve this:

"GIT I PRESENT" which, interpreted, means "get presents," because my darling little angels are not actually gits.

As a present, I will benevolently return the toys and dress up clothes I took from them this week and a few weeks ago for not cleaning their room often enough. It will practically be Party Training instead of Potty Training.

Here are some other recent pieces by Grace:

Fathers Day card for Alex,

Inside: A beautiful KcAtrpELr family,

The disCarded Grandpa Card

See the dead body?

This one just has a lot of heart.

And in a totally unrelated note, it is apricot season, and I created this work of art yesterday and today. I am trying to decide if all of the work is worth producing something that kids inhale in such an obscenely short amount of time:

Hummingbird Nest and Eggs

2011-06-20T14:19:00.000-06:00

The other night we walked outside and noticed that we had left our Christmas lights up too long. The way you know you have left them up too long? A hummingbird makes her nest on one of them.

Sadly, she flew away before I could get a sharper night picture with the tripod.

But in the daytime, it's a little easier.

I had to pull the light strand a little to get this, but I didn't touch the nest. We are excited to see how this progresses!

Art

2011-06-19T23:38:00.000-06:00

This morning I asked Grace to draw a few pictures for Fathers Day, so we could give them to her grandpas with their cookies. She obliged by drawing several pictures. I randomly picked two, and asked her which one I should give to which grandpa. She designated the picture of the house for one grandpa, and then informed me that she wasn't going to give the other one to a grandpa.

I looked a little closer at the picture, and I decided that a picture with a dead body at the bottom might not be a great Fathers Day card, either. So we gave Grandpa another of her works.

Alliteration

2011-06-16T16:38:00.000-06:00

Scott smiles.

Henry helps.

Grace grins.

Parents pose. (Husband hot.)

A Snapshot

2011-06-15T23:37:00.000-06:00

I was writing to a missionary brother today, and I realized that I had something to write about, despite my constant thinking of things and not thinking they are blogworthy, so I here is a little excerpt.

I went with my three children, yes, I have three - I am like the old woman in the shoe, sometimes I have so many I don't know WHAT to do - anyway, I went with my many children to my dad's ranch today to do some photographing for him. It was an exciting adventure in going without a bathroom for long periods of time when only one of the three children is potty trained. I hope that the number of potty trained children in the house will double by next Saturday.

Alex was out fixing our cng suburban (so we can get it to pass registration), and he came in a little while ago and said, "I think this is working, but I need more glue." I am wondering if I should be worried that he is fixing our suburban with my hot glue gun? I'll keep you posted.

We saw kung fu panda two tonight, and I cried three times. Luckily, I left so early in the morning with Dad, and went to the movie so soon after I got home, that my ugly cry had less make-up to use in uglifying.

I just realized that I fix things in other peoples' writing that I don't fix in my own, so if I have ever edited something of yours and made you feel bad, just know that I am a dirty editing hypocrite.

Sunday Clothes

2011-06-12T16:10:00.002-06:00

Free Fishing Day, and Climbing Psychological Mountains

2011-06-04T16:37:00.001-06:00

Our kids each caught their first fish today. So yes, I did eventually decide not to go full on vegetarian (speaking of a subject from many months ago). Someone brought up the integrity issue of eating meat only for social events, and I knew that I must be a woman of integrity. So if we will eat it at someone else's house, we will eat it at home.

Grace won a free fishing pole from the DWR, which Henry coveted loudly all the way home.

Speaking of my stubborn middle son, Henry is not potty trained. I grieve this state of affairs deeply, but I am getting close to the top of the psychological mountain every mother must crest before she embarks on the horrifying journey of potty training. So I expect he will be joining the ranks of children who are allowed to go to pre-school soon. I have an excuse for his late age, but I have blabbered about it so many times that I am sick of even mentioning it. Perhaps getting sick of my excuse is also part of climbing the psycho-mountain. I use a three day method. Well wishes and tips will be accepted and appreciated.

Feminism Book Group

2011-05-27T08:56:00.000-06:00

Book group convened at my house last night, and it was excellent. We chose Feminism for our theme this month.

I read Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History, by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.

This book details a lot of the general history of feminism, and the author structured it around the works of three authors: Christine de Pizan, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Virginia Woolf. I was initially annoyed with the title, because I am generally a well-behaved woman, and I disliked thinking that I will probably not make history. However, after reading the book I am not bothered by the statement at all. The title ironically came from an article the author wrote in the 70's about a bunch of puritan women who were not much remembered because they were just good. She researched their eulogies, and gave them a history in her article. I highly recommend that anyone interested in the subject read this book.

Just a few of the topics she covers: the Amazon legends, the relation of feminism to the civil rights for blacks movements, and second wave feminism.

On a side note, I just love my book group. Everyone is so bright and opinionated, it makes for the most delightful discussions. I also appreciated how one of our talented ladies spontaneously sang the suffragette song from Mary Poppins.

Other books that were discussed:

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

This essay details what happened when Virginia Woolf went to the library to find out why women were poor, and discovered that there was pretty much no history of or for or by women that had even been written. She mentioned the need for women to have a room to go and write. Her idea made me think of blogging, because this is (occasionally) my little psychological room where I go and think and write. So hooray for blogging!

Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place, by Terry Tempest Williams

I didn't hear a ton about this book, but the ladies who read it seemed to enjoy it. If I'm not mistaken, the author is LDS.

Someone watched Iron Jawed Angels, which is about the women's suffrage movement.

It seems like there were more, but I can't remember other titles. For next month we are reading Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, in conjunction with the Shakespeare Festival, and I think we'll be attending the play if I'm not mistaken.

Notes

2011-05-21T22:54:00.001-06:00

Dear Henry,

Please do not turn the dishwasher on when it is not full any more.

Love, Mom

Dear Grace,

Congratulations on graduating from pre-school. Please stop aging at once.

Love, Mom

Dear Babylon Mill,

Thanks for being there so we could leave the house again.

Love, the Fambly

Dear Kitchen Floor,

It was nice to see you this week. I missed you for all of that time during which you were hiding under the filth.

Love, the Mopstress and her Sweeping Knight

Dear Alex,

Thanks for being a hunka hunka burnin' love.

Love, Wifey

Dear Tigger,

That really wasn't necessary, but thank you. You are the best ever.

Love, your favorite oldest sissy pooh

Dino Tracks

2011-05-15T16:45:00.000-06:00

This weekend I went out to the Dinosaur tracks with the hot guy pictured above (click on the image for a slightly better look, but sorry, he's taken).

We also brought the munchkins.

The clouds made the light nice. I don't think Northern Utah photographers appreciate the smog as they should. It really dulls the nasty shadows. I mean, I would have looked WAY worse in my scrubby shoes, holey bleach-stained yoga pants and race t-shirt if the sun had been too harsh.

Here is something Alex and I have in common with red necks:

We like to shoot things. The only difference is Alex and I use cameras instead of guns.

Sisters: Then and Now

2011-05-09T12:30:00.000-06:00

Two of us got married that year.

Three got married within the last year. Can I just say that I have supermodel sisters? Thank you.

Now, we just need to marry off that handsome, successful, charming, brilliant brother of ours, and we'll be set.

A Morning Conversation, Overheard

2011-05-05T14:52:00.001-06:00

"It'smybirthdaytoday! I am not four anymore. I am five, Henry. I woke you up so you could say Happy Birthday to me!"

"Where is my Thomas?"

Newborns

2011-05-04T12:05:00.001-06:00

Things I don't Like

Blog withdrawals

The way babies smell after
*filling diapers
*spitting up
*being held by heavily perfumed women (even if the perfume is good, somehow the leftovers are not always so ... )

Newborns are magnetic to weirdos and dirty children's fingers

The ear-rattle scream of gaseous pain
The sleep habits, though Scott is actually angelic on this front

Things I Like

Their tiny voices
Their tiny hands
Their tiny pretty-much-everything

Free pass to use words like "huggie cuddle wuddle snugglesaurus" in a vocabulary-appropriate voice all the time
Free pass to nap at any time, not that I can use that anymore with three. This is me hoping for when school starts

Delicious meals cooked and brought via many beloved people for days after the birth

When newborns fall asleep on you. Oh the trust. It's like crack (at least, that's what I imagine crack to be like—since it is highly addictive)

The way they smell after a bath

People who are not weird or dirty are always willing to hold newborns so I can do things like cook dinner, attend other children, or sit down for a few minutes

Book Group

2011-04-29T13:20:00.001-06:00

For Book Group this month our theme was Utopia/Dystopia. There was a Hunger Games Contingent, and one person read just the first one and didn't want to read the rest. I really loved them, and you can read my Mockingjay review HERE.

Someone read The Handmaid's Tale, which was about a society which supposedly eliminated sexual violence against women, but from the review, it sounded like the society had made the problem horrifyingly worse. I wasn't excited to read it based on the review.

I read Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley. The book detailed a society where technology and industry have taken over even the human race, with people grown in bottles and pre-conditioned to enjoy and do the work they are assigned by their caste. Everyone belongs to everyone else, so there is rampant society-endorsed promiscuity. I was assigned to read this book in high school, but I had NO IDEA what was going on with sexuality in the book. It reminded me of when I got married and it opened a whole new world of radio to Alex and me. This reassures me that if I disagree with the local high school English teacher, that my innocently raised children may still miss what I hope they will miss.

BNW left me disgusted that Huxley predicted a few things about our society, but totally missed the feminist movement. I'm pretty sure there were no female Alphas, and there were no females in the book who did anything exceptional or non-flat. I found it very infuriating.

The last review was Justice, by Michael J. Sandel, a Harvard professor. This one sounded absolutely fascinating, and I would like to read it. The professor details fascinating law cases and asks very thought-provoking questions. This is on my to-read list for sure.

For next month, we are looking at a feminist theme. I was thinking

The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath (or anything our library has by her?)
Or perhaps some Virginia Woolf? A Room of Ones' Own or Night and Day.

Has anyone read any of those? Do you have any more suggestions for me? We like to have a list to choose from.

Someone's Signature on a Forum Alex was Reading

2011-04-26T22:14:00.000-06:00

Good things come to those who wait.
Bad things come to those who hate.
Girlfriends come to those who date.
Children come to those who mate.

In other news, Scott has gained approximately an ounce a day since his birth. If this continues until he is five years old, he will weigh over 100 lbs.

46 Weeks Pregnant

2011-04-18T15:58:00.000-06:00

This is Scott at about a month old. My friend Melissa sent these sweet onesies for Scotticus. I knew they had some sort of Star Wars significance, but I couldn't place them. Alex took one look and said, "Oh, that's the Rebel symbol, and that's the Empire." Scott wore the empire for only a little while before soiling it, so now he is on the right side of the Force again. You can see the tutorial for onesies of awesomeness HERE.

And this is photographic evidence that I AM still alive, in spite of the suspicious infrequent blog posting. Now, back to laundry while he's still asleep!

Another Set of Three Kids

2011-04-08T08:24:00.000-06:00

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

Just kidding. This is me and my two beautiful sissy pooh pooh pantses. Don't you love our adorable smocked dresses? I do.

Can you guess which sister is this adorable baby's mother? I think they look a lot alike.

I was going to take some pictures of my three to put with the top one, but I think Scott doesn't really like it when I blog. So those will be coming a little later.

That is all for today, except I have one explanation from the previous post. Henry says, "I not kill," about the baby, because he is obsessed with catching roly polies in the back yard. When he plays with them I always say, "Be soft, and don't kill them." So when I tell him to be soft with the baby, he also assumes that I intend for him to not kill him.

Evolution of a New Brotherhood

2011-04-01T18:06:00.001-06:00

1. Ignorance Coping. Henry walks in and sees Scott for the first time. He looks at the baby. He walks into his room and plays with his train. He repeats this coping strategy several times the first few times he is around Scott.

2. Mistaken Identity. Henry refers to Scott as Eliza, and with only the pronoun "it."

3. Budding Love. Henry gently pats the baby on the head and says, "I not kill." Henry tells Grace not to sneeze on the baby's arm.

I think that is progress. No fooling.

My First Natural Birth: All the Gory Details

2011-03-24T15:12:00.001-06:00

Warning: This post may contain words like "uterus" and "placenta," so if you are one of those people who don't like those words, please stop reading now.

I'm not kidding, there will be blood! Don't say I didn't warn you.

*The last post was by Alex, and it was a double entendre, because while there was a huge sigh of relief at the end, there was also a lot of screaming at the top of my lungs in a way I have never screamed before that day.

Here is a list of all the due dates I passed with this baby:

1. My psychological due date of March 1. I had carried both other babies to 38.5 weeks, and I hoped this one would be the same.

2. My ultrasound due date of March 6. One of my other children was born on the ultrasound due date, so I hoped this one would be the same.

3. My 40 weeks due date of March 10. By the third due date's passage, I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would NEVER be giving birth, but would remain in my enlarged station forever more.

Six fun-filled days after my LAST due date, I woke up feeling very nauseous. I had my appointment with my midwife that Tuesday, so I had Alex take me since I wasn't feeling well. She checked me, and I was at a 2.5. She encouragingly said she thought I could easily last another five days, and to come in Saturday if I hadn't gone into labor. She would perform her pagan ritual to get me going at that point. She also recommended castor oil, evening primrose oil, or other things that Alex would prefer I not write on my family friendly blog—if I wanted to take matters into my own hands.

On the way home from my appointment, I had to stop and toss my lunch into the dirt on the side of the road, which rid me of my nausea. My contractions started coming regularly after that, but I didn't start timing them until around 5:00 p.m. They were every seven to fifteen minutes all the way until bedtime. I went to sleep, and at around 3:00 a.m. the contractions woke me up. I started timing, and they were every three to five minutes.

I called my awesome midwife, Elizabeth, at about 4:00 a.m., and she and her assistant Shannon came around 5:00. My mother in law picked up the kids around that time, too. Poor Elizabeth had not expected me to go into labor, so she had stayed up very late talking to her daughter who was home for spring break. Once she and Shannon unpacked, she checked me, and I was at a 3.5. Awesome.

Not.

Liz and Shannon went to sleep on the couch, while Alex finished some work that was due that day. I went to labor in the tub for about an hour. At around 6:00 a.m. I got out of the tub and needed Alex to help me through the contractions. He helped by pushing my knees toward my back when it got difficult and telling me about really boring things so I could focus on something in a part of my brain that is not attached to the pain part. We called my mom to come around 7:00 a.m., which worked well for her because she was here for the most exciting part.

Prior to the hard stuff, I had also used some hypnobirthing visualization techniques, which I found helpful up until things got difficult.

When I started moaning through contractions a little after 6:00 a.m., Elizabeth came and checked me, and I was at a 6.5, which I thought wasn't super. However, she and Shannon spread out the shower curtain and sheet as if they were ready to get the show on the road. I felt encouraged. I was trying to relax through really intense contractions, and finally Elizabeth said, "Jenny, there comes a point at which you can NOT relax through, and you have to start working with them." So I started trying to flex and work with the contractions, and that helped with the pain, as well as made me progress faster.

I had wondered if I would be a noisy birther, or if I ought to try to let my children sleep in the other room while I birthed. I am REALLY glad they were not in the house. Or the house next door. Because I am a VERY NOISY birther. I was moaning and groaning and yelling through the hard contractions, and when I got to transition I screamed. Elizabeth told me to focus my scream down and out, which made for funny noises, because I would start in a high pitch, and then move down to a more gutteral yell.

I progressed steadily, with Liz telling me some other positions to try, which made the pain a little more bearable, and helped the baby's position prepare for birth. Emotionally, I felt like I could handle it until about 20 or 30 minutes before he came out, which was about 8:00 a.m. At that point I started yelling things such as the following:

"JUST PULL HIM OUT!"
"Sorry I keep yelling!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOW!"
"HELP! HEEEEEEELP!"
"I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!"
"I AM GOING TO DIE!"

I yelled so much that by the end my throat felt like I had been at a state championship football game. All the time I was shouting these desperate things, there was a little spot in the back of my mind that was very happy, because I knew that when a woman gets to the point at which she thinks she is going to die, the baby will be there very soon. Sadly, I did not take this opportunity of a free pass to say all the bad words I am ever tempted to say. Maybe next time. The worst thing I did was tell Alex to shut up, and that was more jokingly than anything.

Elizabeth broke my water when I fully dilated, and I thought it was the baby's head. I would say I was disappointed that it wasn't the head, but I pretty much felt only Pain at that point. I pushed a couple more times, and his head finally came out. That was the eye-crossingly hard part. I thought I was going to tear in half starting at the ring of fire, but I was also exultant to be almost done!

I have read about some women having a "birth climax," that is similar to other biological climaxes. Yeah, that didn't happen for me. However, it was a great natural high not to be drowning in the pain of labor and transition anymore. Alex caught the baby from by my side, because I couldn't bear to have him leave his position of staring into my face while I yelled for help. He was pulling my knee back on one side and Shannon was pushing for me on the other. Shannon said she had never pushed knees back before, which is funny because while she was helping me I thought, "Oh, she must do this all the time," because she was really good at it.

I did tear a little, but not enough to even sew up. I was so happy to have the little screaming baby out on my tummy, all covered in gooey blood. He had no vernix, long fingernails, and lots of dark hair. I birthed the placenta, and it was huge! My midwife put it delicately by saying, "You were obviously well-nourished during this pregnancy." We didn't save it to plant or eat for dinner. I know you were wondering.

I have had two babies with epidurals, and I have to say, during the birth, I was really wishing for one. Soon after I had Henry, as I gazed at him in oxytocin induced highs, I thought, "I could do that again, he is so CUTE! I want another one right away." But not this time. While the amnesia has already set in, and I am already willing to do it naturally next time, my body seems to sense that even though the child is wonderful, I can wait awhile to do that again. Perhaps a long while.

I really appreciated the way labor progressed through the hard part so quickly, with it only lasting around two to two and a half hours. With both other babies, I got to the hard part, and then I had an epidural. Labor then lasted between three and six more hours. I think that was probably harder on the babies. Grace's heart rate kept dropping at the end, and Henry's did a little, too. But Scott's never did. I think that while his birth was the hardest for me, it was the easiest on the baby. You can't tell that from the serious expression on his face in this picture, though:

The day he was born, I had my doubts about ever doing it naturally again because I wanted an epidural so badly in the morning. But now, with a little distance and a little amnesia, I would definitely do it again.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. . . (the unauthorized post)

2011-03-16T11:26:00.002-06:00

9lbs, 4oz,
21" long

The Value of Peer Review in College English Classes

2011-03-14T07:08:00.000-06:00

My friend mentioned rabbit stew for dinner, and it reminded me of a story from yesteryear.

When I was in college, my younger sister and I were roommates for awhile. She took an English class that required her to write a narrative about a personal experience.

Sara chose to share about the time she saved a baby calf's life, when it was drowning in a pool of fetid manure. She went out to feed the cows right before a church event. I think it was her Laurel graduation. Anyway, the calf was struggling and likely to drown in the morass.

So Sara, in her brave, bold, loving way, jumped right in, got covered in manure and mud from head to toe to favorite watch, and dragged the calf out of the junk. She is kind of like a superhero in many ways. Her very favorite watch smelled like manure ever after, all in the name of saving some poor calf from a stinky early grave.

Isn't she pretty? Anyway, she wrote this experience up for her class, and had to have some peer reviews. This valuable tidbit is what one of her peers wrote on her paper:

"Buford!"
"Yes'm?"
"Done caught a rodent!"
"We's eatin' good tonight."

And that, my friends, is why peer reviews are so valuable in college and high school English classes.

40 Weeks, Minus One Day.

2011-03-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

I'm 40 weeks today, but I took this photo last night. Looks like I will experience "overdue" for the first time. Surprisingly, I am more mellow about passing this due date than I was about the ultrasound due date, which was on Sunday.

I might even make it to my baby sister's bridal shower on Saturday afternoon. I do love to embarrass a sibling. I'll have to tell you what we got her later, because it is a fun bridal shower gift idea.

Diamond Quilt

2011-03-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of the quilt I just finished. Maybe I'll finish another one if this babe wants to stay inside. I just keep repeating to myself what Lindsay said, "No one has ever been pregnant forever."

Positive Mental Attitude

2011-03-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

As far as candy bars are concerned, right now it's probably between Nan and the several of you who guessed March 7. No real progress, but I am doing my best to have a positive mental attitude. Nan will win by default as the latest guess if I go too long.

I can tell I am not in a normal frame of mind because I have almost finished a quilt that does not have an intended recipient, and I almost never have the motivation to finish something unless a baby is due or a quilt show is coming up!

Today is the Ultrasound due date, but 40 weeks isn't until Thursday, and since I am using a midwife there will be no begging for an induction for me. Also, I forgot Paulette! That is five of us due this week. She is to be induced on Thursday, so may the force be with her as well.

I finished reading book 3 of Fablehaven again, and I loved it. The romance plot line in this one really got me this time.

Also, I just read Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank.

It was well written and well researched, but some of the horrible archaic practices at the beginning weren't the best thing for me to read in my current state.

Still No Baby

2011-03-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

I realized today I have three friends who are due within days of me. It's like a race to the finish line! So Holly, April, and Angela, May the Force be with us.

For the record, I am trying to have a good attitude about going all the way to my due date this time. I would prefer to have normal labor, and not have my water break. I am starting to think about my 40 week due date, next Thursday, as my due date, rather than this Sunday, so I am not devastated if he doesn't come on or before the ultrasound due date. I am two days more pregnant than I have ever been at this point.

I am also feeling bad for my other friend, who was due the 28th, and to my knowledge is still pregnant. That's five of us due within two weeks, and I heard two more pregnancies announced today. Babies, babies, babies!

On the bright side, I can pick up my bountiful basket on Saturday morning and go to Alex's cousin's wedding Saturday night if I make it to Sunday. It helps to have things to anticipate.

Home Birth Supplies

2011-02-28T12:58:00.001-07:00

I will be birthing this babe at home, and I have been compiling stuff for the event from a list my midwife gave me. I found the list interesting, so I thought I would share some of the items.

* Custom Birth Kit from http://www.inhishands.com/.
* Lots of fluids to stay hydrated
* Shower curtain liner (or any textured plastic)
* Old, clean sheet, that can be thrown away if necessary
* 2 old receiving blankets, to be wrapped in foil and warmed in oven during labor
* Bottle each of rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide
* pillows, towels, etc.

The birth kit has stuff like sterile gloves, absorbent disposable pads, and bunch of other miscellaneous medical supplies you might not easily find on the shelf at Walgreens. The list is longer, but you get the idea.

Book Group

2011-02-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

We had book group last night. Here are some of the ones that caught my interest:

The Blue Castle, by LM Montgomery. I love the Anne series. It sounds like this is just one book, and has romance and appealing character growth in the protagonist.

The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss. This one is three stories that weave together, and apparently the ending is so clever that it makes you want to read the whole thing over again to catch what you missed the first time.

Daddy Long-Legs and Dear Enemy, by Jean Webster. Set in the early twentieth century, these tell the story of a girl and her friend at a period of their lives when they are coming of age. I love a good coming of age story.

I read Time Traveler's Wife, as I mentioned, and part of Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon, but the hanky panky in Outlander became too much for me, so I put it down and read the first Fablehaven again. I will say for Brandon Mull that he started well, but he definitely improved in writing skill with each book in the series. I even bought this series at a brick and mortar store, because I'd like my kids to enjoy them when they are a little older.

Next month our theme is Ireland / Oscar Wilde. Any suggestions? I've read a lot of Wilde's stuff, and Ireland books are so often depressing. I was thinking of reading How Green was my Valley, but that is actually set in Wales. Has anyone read Finnegans Wake?

No baby yet, though I was 38 weeks yesterday, which is technically full term. We're not thinking about that, are we?

Mmmmm, Spinach!

2011-02-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

I have been having a weird craving, and this recipe is the result. Don't knock it until you have tried it.

1 Tbsp Butter
Fresh squeezed lemon juice
A splash of apple juice
Spinach
Salt, Pepper

Heat up the first three ingredients over medium heat, then add the spinach. Salt and pepper to taste. This dish looks gross, but it is so delicious. And nutritious!

It's Time to Play: Guess that Birthday!

2011-02-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

Here I am at 36.5 weeks, complete with a pony. I thought we should have a contest, the same way I did with Henry's birth, where whoever guesses closest wins their favorite candy bar.

I would put the details of my other kids' births, but I try to be vague about that sort of thing due to identity thieves, who I am sure are devouring every bit of information on my fascinating posts, hoping to take over the lives of my children so that I can serve them hand and foot every day. Well guess what identity thieves, if you show up at my door, I will refuse to serve you!

So here are a few tidbits:

Both other kids were born around 38 and a half weeks. I was not careful to chart certain events this time, but I think 40 weeks is around March 10.

The ultrasound due date this time is March 6.

St. Patrick's Day is the March 17, and Alex did serve an LDS mission in Ireland, so there's that. If I do not deliver before the 17th, I feel quite certain that All Hell will Break Loose.

To My Beloved on Valentines Day

2011-02-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

Roses are Red, violets are Blue,
The Sun is hot, and so are You.
But you have things, the sun ain't got.
You have skills that can't be bought.
Thanks for washing the dishes this week.
Thanks for being my favorite geek.
The children were blessed to have you there,
while I've been dying on the chair.
As I have coughed the wheeze of dread,
You've scattered sunshine to my sickly bed.
You are my one and only love so true,
so Happy Valentines Day. I love you!

Not Dead. Yet.

2011-02-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

1. I finished The Time Traveler's Wife. I found it very compelling, and I thought the premise was super clever. I felt down when it was over, and the author was more liberal with sex and the f-word than I am comfortable with. Can't say whether I would recommend it or not. Alex was very dismayed with my descriptions of some things that happened in the book. He feels like the world has enough unhappiness that we don't need fictional unhappiness on top of that. I don't agree, but my brain is too full to argue about it right now. Jane Eyre just wouldn't be Jane Eyre without the shocking unhappy plot twist in the middle.

2. We are almost all sick around here, except Alex. He makes the beds, works all day, cleans the house, bathes the kids, and puts them to bed. I lie on the couch, trying not to die. I am feeling better today, though. See? I'm typing!

3. Baby brother and his fiance have cancelled the wedding, so I no longer have to travel when I am about to pop. I am sad and happy about this at the same time.

4. I made this puppet for Grace, and she liked it. Details of construction are on Stitch Hack.

4. CSN has contacted me to do another giveaway. Should I do it? They just seem so impersonal, but I don't oppose free stuff for the patient people who read my rants. What are your thoughts?

Modest IS Hottest

2011-02-03T14:05:00.002-07:00

Now they'll NEVER be naked. Mwahahahaha. Thanks for the idea, Jennifer.

February Book Group

2011-02-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

We had book group last Thursday, and I am so glad the ladies graciously allowed me to invite myself. We talked about Africa books. We decided to read love stories for February, and this is the list:

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte, which is also a fantastic Masterpiece theatre piece from 2006 if you need something for the Netflix cue. The cover on my friend's copy says, "Just the right amount of heaving bodices," and I am inclined to agree.

Rooftops of Tehran - Mahbod Seraji, If anyone has read this link to a review in the comments or have me check your goodreads.

Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Ann Shaffer, One of a very few books I would possibly read more than once just for fun.

These is My Words - Nancy Turner (This was my suggestion. I just love the love story in it!)

Bloody Jack - L.A. Meyer, Don't ask me how this one is a romance, but it's on the list. I hear the audio recording actress is on par with Jim Dale, who read the Harry Potter books. I think it is YA.

Time Travelers Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Outlander - Diana Gabaldon

Please leave a note of any of these that are a must read, or your favorite love story if you have one. I expect to do more reading in the immediate future because that is all I do while nursing. Five more weeks tomorrow. I have begun assembling the home birth stuff.

Also, I am going to wedding and taking the kids. Special thanks to Marie, who was the ONLY one to give me unmitigated permission to stay home and eat bonbons. I do love complaining, as I'm sure you've all noticed, so thanks for pointing out that going will include future complaining rights. Sadly, I am pretty sure I am not allowed to wear sweatpants to all of the events, which I'm sure my fellow pregnant friends would agree would be a great boon.

Valentine Quiltlet Giveaway

2011-01-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

Not me, my friend Lindsay is giving away an adorable table topper over at Linz Sews. Check it out

HERE.

You can enter by just leaving a comment, and there are other ways, too.

The No. 1 Ladies Book Group, and an Argument with Myself

2011-01-27T16:12:00.002-07:00

I am going to book club tonight, to discuss books about Africa. I read the The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency yesterday and the day before, and I found it very delightful. It looks like it is a series, so I may have to look into that if there is not something more scintillating to read for next month.

In other news, I have SIX weeks left today. Hooray! That's only one more sharing time, four weeks of conducting primary, and one week of everyone saying, "Haven't you had that baby YET? You look like you are about to POP!"

I am in a dither about whether to attend my brother's wedding in three weeks.

Reasons to Go
* I LOVE my Baby Brother and his Cutie Fiance with a deep and abiding love
* It is two weeks before I am due, and I have never had a baby that early
* Someone has graciously accepted my request to co-ordinate my Bountiful Baskets site that weekend.
* Many of my relatives who I love a lot will be there.
* I cannot take pictures if I am not there.

Reasons to Stay
* Sleeping away from home is not my children's strong point.
* Driving in a car for a long time is not my strong suit when very, very pregnant.
* Sleeping away from home is not my strong suit when I am very, very pregnant.
* I will be very, very pregnant.
* Also, I cry at some weddings and at least twice a week when I am very, very pregnant, and I don't have waterproof mascara right now. I think that is a recipe for possible disaster.
* Gracious Baby Brother said he would understand either way.
* If I stay home, my puffy face and puffy everything else will not be captured via photograph.
* There is a reception in our home town the week after.
* Who knows what sorts of odd things altitude changes can do to a neurotic very pregnant woman?
* Did I mention how very, very pregnant I will be?

Please feel free to throw out other reasons to stay or go in the comments. Preferrably reasons to stay, because I'm leaning toward going right now, and it's giving me a lot of anxiety.

The Bright Side

2011-01-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

I was reading the comments on my post about Henry's last hair incident, and my kind sister pointed out that I should make him some felt cars because they would stick to his head. At this point, I am thinking trains would be even better received by him.

In other news, I did it. I started a sewing blog, and I am still experimenting with form, function, fashion, etc. You can see all the stuff I didn't post on here for Christmas as well as an overly photographed skirt tutorial, which I mentioned earlier, at Stitchhack.com. Please feel free to share your thoughts or suggestions in the nicest floweriest kindest way possible, because I am very sensitive.

Widely Swings the Pendulum

2011-01-13T21:25:00.001-07:00

So, as far as winning things, I have had some great luck lately. Just today I learned that I won a print from one of my favorite photographers. However, in order that the Universe might keep in balance, I have also had some not great luck. And I'm not just talking about arriving with a seemingly healthy child at the doctor's at the wrong time of my hormonal roller-coaster. Today my sister was laughing so hard at me that I think she almost cried, so I thought I'd better share a little list.

* I recently dropped a three or four hour old cell phone in the toilet. I did not purchase insurance on the phone.

* I lost a $100 bill in December, which was emotionally significant, because it was part of an awesome heartfelt thank you note from my poor hand-crippled sister, intended to purchase a car seat for my forthcoming son (not daughter.) I think I may have accidentally thrown it in the trash.

* My beloved sister bought me a car seat after generously forgiving my idiocy, which made my being a huge loser even WORSE.

* New Years Resolution? So far, pretty much a FAIL.

* Remember when I accidentally shaved Henry's head? Yeah, well I did it again. The exact same way. Stupid shaver guards. It hasn't even been ONE YEAR since the last time I did it. My father-in-law, who was in the next room both times, informed me that they were not laughing with me. They were laughing at me. And who can blame them?

* The night I shaved Henry's head, I was complaining to Alex about how rotten my luck has been, and how I am getting sick of eating humble pie—bitter, bitter humble pie. Then I went to pour myself a glass of milk, in which to drown my sorrows, and instead of hitting the cup, I poured milk all over the table, on the seam so that it dripped all over the floor as well. Alex generously cleaned up my mess, saving me from bending over while seven months pregnant. He did laugh at my expense, but I can't blame him. I had a hard time keeping my sour grapes face at that point as well.

Let us hope that this bloggy bad luck purge will enable me to get back in balance and quit winning contests so that I can also quit being a big loser in other areas.

So, how is your January?

Inspirational Songs with Alex

2011-01-09T22:11:00.002-07:00

Alex was inspired to write this beautiful song after a musical fireside tonight:

We should be righteous.
Instead of wicked.
Because being wicked is really bad.
It's the worst thing the wor-eld ever HAAAAAAD!

I think it will be a big hit.

Oh, and I forgot this oldie but goodie of his:

I was having a difficult time,
But then I had FAAAAAITH!

Big Girls Do Cry, Especially Very Big Girls

2011-01-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

My beloved oldest sweet daughter Grace has been sick to her tummy for about a week, and it came to a crisis yesterday. She laid on the couch all day, sleeping, fevering, looking miserable, and vomiting forth any sustenance I provided.

This morning she threw up yet again, and again laid down miserably on the couch. So I dutifully called and got her worked in to the local clinic's schedule. As soon as she had her coat and mis-matched* boots on, we headed to the doctor's office, where she pranced about the waiting room happily, chatting with the kind and helpful staff, admiring the fish, and generally acting like a sweet, healthy small adorable girl child.

While I was waiting to pay my co-pay, my friend who works there asked if I would like a financial aid application, since Alex is now self-employed. I said, "Sure," and then my awesome tear ducts began malfunctioning. My friend asked when I was due, and I sniffled back at her: "In March." She said, "Are you okay?" Which made me need to cry even more, because oh, a compassionate person. In response to her kind inquiry, I thought the following:

- It injures my over-inflated pride to be offered a financial aid application. Of course there is nothing wrong with applying for financial aid. There is nothing wrong with struggling when a huge percentage of the rest of the nation is struggling. In fact, I often forget my motto (guilt is optional) when I think about how good I actually have it, because there are many people whose husbands aren't handsome, and whose husbands can't fix broken dryers, and who wonder how they will pay their heating bill, and who don't have jobs, or food, or [insert a bajillion things I have]. I feel guilty stressing about our finances, because we actually have it really good right now. Yet it irks me to have to think about applying for financial aid. I know we won't qualify, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy paying medical bill after medical bill.

- I am sleep deprived. For several nights in a row my child has thrown up multiple times, and I have had to drag my heavy body out of my soft bed to hold her hair back from her face, while she calls Ralph on the white phone.

- I am very pregnant, and I had not cried for at least several days, if not several weeks. And weeks are like years in pregnant people time.

- I am dismayed by Grace's sudden seemingly good health. I usually pride myself on not going to the doctor unless it is genuinely necessary, and yet here I am at the office with an unusually bright, cheerful, happy child, claiming that she is sick? I could just hear the thoughts of judgers around me, "That woman must have some sort of problem, bringing healthy children to the doctor's office. She must really need a lot of attention. As if she doesn't get enough attention when she is that pregnant. And with two other small children who aren't even in school yet!"

- I am relieved by Grace's sudden seemingly good health. I had been troubled through the prior sleepless night, and even late into the morning, that her vomiting was probably a sign of something Serious, like [Insert your favorite horrible Disease for Worrying]. Maybe the doctor won't call for Expensive Tests after all [Insert more guilt for worrying about finances when my Child's Health is at stake].

- I haven't worked out in a long time. Something about exercise works out my emotional knots better than drowning them in chocolate or talking them out or bottling and shelving them.

In response to her kind inquiry, I said the following: "I'm fine!" And I smiled, and I'm pretty sure it was the most grotesque thing she had seen a make-upless tired mother with tears streaming down her face do in a week. Lucky for me, now that I have had a good cry, and now that I have dismayed the clinic's entire staff, I am feeling much, much better. And so is Grace. Actually, she seemed to feel better as soon as we got into the car to go to the doctor's office. They have Strawberry Shortcake stickers there, you know.

* Mis-matched: it's like wearing TWO pair of fashionable shoes at once. Can't decide between your favorite two pair? Wear one of each!

All of Grace's Dreams Come True

2011-01-03T10:01:00.002-07:00

Parenting by Attrition

2010-12-31T12:31:00.000-07:00

Child: Mom, can I do [x thing that you don't want me to do]?
Mom: No.
Child: Please?
Mom: No.
Child: Please?
Mom: No.

Child: Please?
Mom: No.
Child: Please?
Mom: I said NO. What part of NO don't you understand? (Mom thinks: I remember when my mom used to say that, and I thought it was dumb.)

Child: waits about 30 seconds. Please, Mom?
Mom: NO! LEAVE ME ALONE. Play with the bazillion toys you just got for Christmas!

Child: waits about 30 more seconds. Please, Mom?
Mom: FINE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT EVEN IF THE HOUSE BURNS DOWN!

It's Not a Girl!

2010-12-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

The Pink Headache quilt I made will have to wait for another baby. We had our ultrasound last Thursday, and it's another boy. It took a day to get over my shock at Being Wrong (because, of course, I am so SELDOM wrong), and now I am very delighted to welcome a baby brother for Henry. I probably cursed myself by announcing over and over that after Henry we would be having All Girls.

In other news, the Universe has combined to smile on me, because I won two more holiday giveaways I entered! Madness, I know. I probably won't win anything for a year now.

One was from my friend's awesome site: Green Jello with Carrots. She does LDS clip art, and I really like their stuff for primary kids. It is a handy time for me to have won something there, since I was put in as the second counselor in the primary presidency this weekend. Incidentally, we now know that it is possible for Alex and me to go from pajamas to church-presentable in approximately 25 to 30 minutes, including showers!

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Henry's was so merry that during nursery yesterday he actually put down his Thomas. He hasn't put it down for bath, dinner, bed, hell, or high water during the two months since we gave it to him. If it falls out of his crib at night, he cries until we come in and return it to him. But apparently his new train and Space Ranger have filled the hole in his heart where Thomas was lodged.

Grace received a little boon to parents I like to call, "Never Naked Barbie." Thank you Mattel.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

2010-12-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to The Stratton's. You are the lucky winner of my giveaway. I will be contacting you with a code as soon as my CSN contact gets back to me!

Unlucky Them

2010-12-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

One of my awesome friends is the president of the young women's organization in her church group. Tonight, she generously offered the babysitting services of the girls to local parents from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m., so that the adults could go Christmas shopping without little eyes seeing the boodle.

At 7:00 p.m., the power went out in all of the city of Hurricane. For an hour. Does anyone else feel bad for her and laugh hysterically at the plight at the same time?

A large room full of teenage girls and small children.

Sudden darkness. No candles. No flashlights. No NOTHING!

I can just hear the screaming.

But if I had been there, I wouldn't have seen it.

Candy, I salute you!

Lucky Me, Lucky You!

2010-12-21T16:14:00.000-07:00

Remember that giveaway I won at Pots and Pins? Well, CSN contacted me to do a giveaway, too. I ended up getting a nice santoku knife and some other cool kitchen stuff with my winnings. CSN doesn't just do kitchen stuff, though. They have a huge variety of stores that stock everything from baby bottles to corner tv stands.

My winnings saved the day as far as potato mashers in our house, because Alex used my potato masher/pastry blender to mash potatoes recently and broke it in four places. He is very muscular. Now I have one of those awesome squiggle wire hard core ones. Potatoes beware.

For a chance to win a $45 gift code, just leave a comment with your favorite holiday movie title or quote, and I'll do a drawing on Friday.

Merry Christmas 2010

2010-12-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

It has been a busy year as usual around our house.
Alex has created an R2D2 which makes noise, turns its head, and which is among the select and elite few units who are able to successfully transition from two wheels to three wheels and back. R2 made his debut at Halloween, and now resides at Alex's new office because Jenny was less supportive about it residing in the front room. Alex's other project this fall was to start his own business. Blue Desert Digital* offers computer sales, service, and repair, as well as multimedia production, graphic, and web design. *Buy all our playsets and toys! http://www.bluedesertdigital.com/

Jenny spent this year as president of the Zion Piecemakers Quilt Guild. She was glad to turn over the reins in November. She also disbanded her book group, ran two races without preparing for them, and quit going to the gym. It has been a busy year. In March of this coming year she is excited to try having a baby at home for the first time. We hope to find out the gender on December 23rd.

Grace is honing her skills very early so that she can successfully enter the Fashion Police Academy. We expect she may be the youngest Chief of Fashion Police ever. Catch phrases: "Mom, that is not a good look for you." "I don't like that outfit."

While Grace points out bad hair days, Henry causes them with his amazing two-year-old tantrum skills. If tantrums become an Olympic sport, we expect at least a silver medal from him. Henry really loves Thomas the Tank Engine and Milk.

Overall, we are very happy and grateful that we have warm running water, food to eat, clothes to wear, and all of our fingers and toes. May you all enjoy the season as much as we enjoy knowing you.

Love, Alex, Jenny, Grace, Henry, and the Mysterious One

Random Notes

2010-12-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

1. One of the library books we read this week was Henny Penny. I didn't realize that it was the story of chicken little, and I didn't realize that Henny Penny and all of her friends get EATEN by a family of foxes in the end.

I thought that was sort of macabre for a children's book. What kind of lesson are we trying to teach here? If you are a less observant individual, don't talk to other people, or they will eat you alive? And all of your friends with you?

2. Alex has strep throat and has looked like a walking zombie for several days. He finally caved and went to the doctor, who prescribed antibiotics. Now he only looks half-zombie ish.

3. I overcooked the caramel I was making to coat pretzels yesterday. Now they are more like hard chewy toffee coated pretzels. Just now, when I looked at my two year old caramel post, I noticed that I could have prevented that problem by following my own dang instructions. So I reiterate: Do not use a candy thermometer at high altitude! Test the caramel firmness in cold water.

My friend said I can still give them away with a nice label that says, "Use of this product may cause intense feelings of gratitude, uncontrollable cravings, excessive love for fellow man, and may damage your dental work. Recipient agrees to hold giver in no way responsible for damages, direct or incidental (hah!) that may arise from normal use." I think it is very clever, but I still hesitate to give it away, because I don't want someone to come after me to pay for a dental re-fill. I'm thinking I'll trash it and make it again. $6 of wasted caramel and pretzels is cheaper than even one $150 filling.

Thoughts?

Do You Like My Shoes?

2010-12-13T11:28:00.002-07:00

Only Alex's Children

2010-12-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Overheard tonight, while the kids were delightedly playing with the nativity Grace made at pre-school:

"Baby Jesus, Get back in the spaceship!"

I know that my children belong to Alex, because there is videographic evidence of him explaining an ornate nativity diagram he had drawn as a small child, complete with aliens with heart-shaped eyes. He said, "And the aliens have hearts in their eyes, because they Love the baby Jesus."

NewsGaggle

2010-12-08T13:10:00.003-07:00

My aunt has started an awesome website. She is in the broadcast journalism industry, and the the site is for professionals to upload interesting backstory to news items that they cover. Check it out here:

NewsGaggle.com

Please click the like button on the facebook page here, because I am in a campaign to be her favorite oldest niece, and your co-operation would help me a lot:

NewsGaggle on Facebook.

I like the celebrity section, but the US and International is also fun because you can sometimes see camera people in strange, almost contortionist, positions to get a good angle on the shot. Even famous teenage camera people . . .

Is anyone else as Not Excited as I am about all the extremely young celebrities who are writing their life stories or having movies made about themselves when they are not yet 30? (Ahem, Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan, etc.?)

And Your Little Bassett Hound, TOO!

2010-12-07T21:27:00.002-07:00

I'll tell you why I'm annoyed with Pioneer Woman today.

Because of this post.

Which linked to this cookie recipe at Bake at 350.

It is their fault I had to make those cookies and decorate them. I blame both PW and Bake at 350 for the fact that I can't quit shoveling them into my mouth very fast, until there is only one plate left to give to neighbors. Curse them. Curse them both.

And Then a Small Child Barfed on my Foot...

2010-12-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

I hope no one will refrain from telling Sara what an inspiration she is as a result of this post, but I have to write something funny she told me. She has had several people come up to her since the accident and say the following:

"Around the time of your accident, I was going through [insert difficult thing that is less difficult than having your fingers cut off and giving birth in the middle of it, followed by months of agonizing pain re-growing some of the most sensitive nerves in your body], and then I heard about what happened to you, and I was filled with gratitude and/or relief."

We both just think it is funny, because you could re-word that statement to say, "Wow, you pretty much have the WORST LIFE of anyone I know, and it makes me feel so much better."

Laughter is the best medicine, I suppose.

Truly, though, thanks again to our awesome community for all the prayers, kindness, floor moppings, etc. in her behalf.

Sewing Blog

2010-11-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

After a ridiculous amout of dithering, I have decided to start a sewing blog. I'm not going to start it until January, so I can do it as next year's new years resolution. When I get around to it, I thought I'd do a tutorial for this skirt:

I made it over the weekend, and it was probably an hour of sewing or less, start to finish.

I read a few sewing blogs, so I know what I like, but what do ya'alls like in a sewing blog?

Africa Reads

2010-11-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

A year or two ago my grandmother gave me her copy of this book:

I avoided reading it, first because it was about the Rwandan Holocaust, and then I avoided it because I was pregnant and having crazy dreams, and it was about the Rwandan Holocaust. But I recently joined a new book group, and the theme for January is Africa. This book group picks a theme and has a list of reads, rather than all sticking to the same book. Then we all report on our reads. I finally picked up this book, and it was great.

For me it was similar to The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom, because the narrator chose to have a good attitude and to focus on forgiveness despite the horrors around her. The book still tells many very troubling details, but her attitude helped me not be overwrought with grief while reading.

This turned out to be a good season for me to read about Africa, because every time I do, I feel so filled with gratitude for what seems extravagant material wealth, as well as my country. Here are other books on the list for January, I would love to hear thoughts about any of these and report to the group.

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (Congo) I read this in college. The writing is dense, and it's kind of a downer because it talks so much about imperialism and greedy white people, but once you get past the dense writing, it is an incredible story. I sold my $1 college copy at a yard sale recently, and when I got to book group, one of the ladies had bought it. It still had my notes all over it, which I had forgotten when I sold it. I was glad it went to a good home.

A Girl Called Disaster - Nancy Farmer (Zimbabwe) JF

The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm - Nancy Farmer (Zimbabwe) YA

Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver (Congo) I read this a year or two ago. I found the frame distracting, because the story is of a family of daughters, and each chapter is from a different daughter's perspective. However, once I got used to it, I enjoyed seeing the different perspectives. Loved this one in the end, though it was a slow read due to the density and changing narrators.

Cry, the Beloved Country - Alan Paton (South Africa) I read this in high school, so I don't remember anything about it except that it involved apartheid, and something about a heart-breaking son named Absalom.

Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe (Nigeria) I also read this in high school, and all I remember from it is that they thought twin babies were such bad luck that they killed them.

What is the What? - Dave Eggers (Sudan)

Mara, Daughter of the Nile - Eloise Jarvis McGraw JF

The Golden Goblet - Eloise Jarvis McGraw JF

Escape from Rwanda - Bizimana, This one is put out by Deseret Book, so I wouldn't be surprised if the author ends up LDS in the end.

Christmas Conversations with a Four-Year-Old

2010-11-24T21:56:00.001-07:00

Today we did some pre-shopping for Christmas, in which we looked at a lot of stuff and did not buy anything except diapers. This practice did not sit well with Grace, who wanted to go to another store to look at More Barbies! Later in the day this conversation ensued.

Grace: I want to have as many Barbies as Grandma has.

Me: It took Grandma many years of buying only a few Barbies at a time to get as many Barbies as she has.

Grace: I want to have as many Barbies as Grandma has.

Me: Well, we will probably get you a few Barbies at a time over a long period of time, so when you are much, much older, you will have as many Barbies as Grandma has. (I refrained from inserting that by the time she has that many she will no longer care to play with them.)

What Grace heard: "Blah, blah, blah, blah. You will have as many Barbies as Grandma has."

Grace: giggles in anticipation.

Evelyn's Mother-in-law's Perfectly Textured White Dinner Rolls

2010-11-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

We recently had a dinner at church, and ladies could sign up to decorate tables. I thought it would be a great chance to show some of my dishes that I seldom use. These are some blue stoneware I got while I worked at a gift shop for a screaming deal. I have service for almost 16 in it (due to a broken bowl). I collected dishes when I was single, and from that fetish I could probably serve 60+ people if I could scrounge up some silverware to go with my bounteous wares.

At the dinner, Evelyn S. brought the most scrumptious white rolls. Rolls are my assignment for Turkey Day this week, so I called her the next morning for the recipe, and she graciously obliged. I tested it on Sunday to make sure I could re-create it, and I did with success. I halved the recipe, and did half of that batch as cinnamon rolls, which were also a big success. Evelyn said she had to go watch her mother-in-law and measure the dollops, etc. I am indebted to her diligent detective work.

White Rolls, from the Kitchen of Evelyn's Mother-in-Law
makes 1 to 2 jelly roll pans of rolls, and can easily be halved
16 C. flour
7 C. warm water
2 heaping Tbsp Yeast
1/2 C. sugar
1/2 C. shortening
2 Tbsp salt (scant)

Make a well with the flour, and place warm water in the center.

Sprinkle yeast over the water, and let yeast begin to wake up. Sprinkle sugar and salt in. Add shortening, and whisk it to break it up in the water. Knead it all together. Let it rise in an oiled bowl until double in size.

I let it rise while I was at church, but I'm sure it was ready before we got home. Punch dough down, form rolls. Allow to rise again. I let them go probably 20 minutes, but I think they would have been fine with more time.

Bake 25 minutes at 375. Make sure the oven is pre-heated when you put them in. I think for Thursday I will be cooking them at 400, because mine weren't the pretty brown that hers were, so I think my oven doesn't cook as hot.

Note: I sprayed saran wrap with cooking spray instead of using a wet towel to cover my dough this time, and it worked out well because the dough didn't stick to the towel.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Blue Desert Digital

2010-11-19T16:38:00.001-07:00

Alex has started a business. Yeah, we know there's like, a recession and everything. We just like to eat food, so I am happy to introduce Blue Desert Digital. He and his friend Josh do computer sales, service, repair, web design, and multimedia production. If you are familiar with our town, the business is located near Domino's Pizza in the complex with the tanning salon, 99 cent store, etc. Alex made the ad below to show in our local theater, so check it out when you go see Harry Potter 7a.